Girl in Algebra 1 class: “What’s an integer?”
*teacher explains*
“Oh…..so it’s like a number?”

Prof: But that would be mental masturbation. It would not be necessary.

Drunk girl: It’s like a penis, only smaller…

40 year old woman: Psychology… is that like Extra Sensory Perception?

Psychology student: um, no.

—Stewart Biology, at the McGill Psychology Student Association booth:

Volunteer: “Hi, welcome to ______ club. Sign up to be a volunteer.”
Student: “Hi, do you get paid to volunteer?”

Prof: so using this website, you can all live like Renaissance millionaires by listening to all the music you want and having a big orgy

-leacock

“How many calories are in Vitamin C…let’s go on an only Vitamin C diet”

Girl 1: I kid you not, it was as big as his arm from elbow to wrist!
Girl 2: That would be seriously painful

Guy: What? You don’t eat meat?
Girl: Just because I’m vegan, doesn’t mean I don’t eat meat…*wink wink*

Girl 1; I can’t go to any of my classes today
Girl 2; why not ?
Girl 1: because I have to shower

–Bronfman Basement