Overheard At McGill » BMH

But I Don’t, Because I Wouldn’t Want To Offend Anyone.

Overheard@McGill — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 03:47:37 +0000

Guy: Every time they make salmon I just want to yell, “smells like slut in here!”
-BMH

Billy Graham hates you.

overheardatmcgill — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 18:57:23 +0000

Girl1: So now I’m wondering if I’m pregnant, or just getting fat…
Girl2: Oh my god, I hope you’re pregnant, at least then you can get an abortion!
- BMH

She may be stupid, but at least she’s open-minded

overheardatmcgill — Sun, 03 Jun 2007 22:59:34 +0000

Bimbette: I hate hair. I just wish people didn’t have any hair…it just gets in the way.
Guy: Well there’s a disease, alopecia,where you have no hair.
Bimbette: That would be amazing!
Guy: No, you don’t even have eye lashes or eye brows.
Bimbette: Eewww!!! I would scream if I saw someone with alopecia!!!

- BMH

Because true love can only be reached through the soft center of a pair of DD tits

overheardatmcgill — Wed, 30 May 2007 18:45:44 +0000

Girl 1: Can you guys believe that John dated me before I even blossomed?! (sincere puzzled look)

Girl 2: No, oh my God… you’re so lucky (looks with envy)

-BMH caf line

They arenâ€™t so far offâ€¦didnâ€™t The Terminator win the election on groping?

overheardatmcgill — Wed, 30 May 2007 12:23:36 +0000

Guy 1: I heard that Carrottop is really buff now, like really huge.
Guy 2: He should start giving out random bear hugs.
Girl: Wouldn’t it be funny if movie stars just started grabbing people and yelling out the names of movies they’ve been in?
Guy 1: (Screaming and hugging himself) ”CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD! CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD!”

-BMH Caf

We were looking for a tampon joke, but apparently, you have TSS

overheardatmcgill — Tue, 08 May 2007 22:38:34 +0000

Girl to her friend: I mean, I looked down at my underwear and I was like, ‘Toxic stuff really shouldn’t be down there.’
—BMH

Same rationale used to keep Quebec out of North America.

overheardatmcgill — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 16:53:47 +0000

Girl 1: Is Cuba part of North America?
Girl 2: Do they speak Spanish in Cuba?
Girl 1: Yes.
Girl 2: Then no. Cuba is not part of North America.
Guy: What about Mexico. They speak Spanish in Mexico.
Girl 2: Mexicans are illegal.

—BMH

Or maybe keep eavesdropping.

overheardatmcgill — Thu, 15 Mar 2007 20:56:10 +0000

Girl 1: Lately, it feels like I’m on fire when I have sex.
Girl 2: That’s what happened when I had gonorrhoea.
Guy (at next table over): Wow, those girls were pretty hot before I heard that… I have to stop eavesdropping.

—BMH

“But, they also paid for cover, my first six drinks, and the morning after pill.”

overheardatmcgill — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 06:03:19 +0000

Guy: Hey so how was you night last night.
Girl: Well I went to Lodge, it was great.
Guy: Really? Earlier in the day you were all stressed because you had an essay due, and you kept going on how you were gonna for sure do it last night.
Girl: Ya that made it even harder to go. But, really it was easy to justify. I mean my parents paid so I could get an education, not just a book education, but an education.
(Guy is a bit perplexed)
Guy: But, still…you’re gonna fail your essay.

—BMH

US foreign policy? Sooo “Command and Conquer”!

overheardatmcgill — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 00:07:08 +0000

Guy: You guys have mounted police? They go around on horses? That is sooo “Age of Empires”!

—BMH

That’s not an udder, and that’s not milk.

overheardatmcgill — Thu, 22 Feb 2007 17:00:19 +0000

Guy in line: C’mon! Milk me like you know you want to!

—BMH

“Before I contracted Ebola.”

overheardatmcgill — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 22:27:14 +0000

[Two guys are standing behind the counter serving food]
Server Guy 1: By the way, you know that study I was going to be part of? Turns out I’m ineligible.
Server Guy 2: Why?
Server Guy 1: I tested positive for Tuberculosis.
[people in line start to look uncomfortable]
Server Guy 1: Oh, don’t worry…that was a while ago.—BMH

Oh, right, I’m thinking Harry Potter.

overheardatmcgill — Sun, 21 Jan 2007 22:35:05 +0000

Girl: So, my boyfriend used to go to a private school and I used to–
Guy 1: (interrupting): Oh my god your boyfriend went to a boarding school! That’s just like that movie .
Guy 2: What movie.
Guy 1: Catcher in the Rye
Guy 2: That’s a book.
Guy 1: Oh ya…

—BMH

Overhear a quote once, shame on them. Overhear it twice, shame on…shame on…the point is, you can’t overhear it again!

overheardatmcgill — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 21:26:15 +0000

Guy: I wonder where the next world cup is
Girl: I think it’s going to be in Berlin
Guy: Isn’t that where it was this year?
Girl: No it was in Germany
—BMH

Girl: I think the next World Cup is going to be in Germany
Guy: Wasn’t the last one in Germany?
Girl: No, it was in Berlin
—BMH

(Ed note: Back on Dec 21st, we received this first quote and thought it was pretty good, but it fell on the backburner. Today, we received the latter quote, from the same submitter, and it looked pretty familiar, though not if you look closely. Funny how time alters memory…)

Though, not many convertees in Upper Rez

overheardatmcgill — Thu, 14 Dec 2006 22:01:08 +0000

Guy 1: If I was in jail, I probably would get put to work a lot.
Guy 2: No. If you were in jail you would just lift weights and convert to Islam.

–Upper Rez /BMH

Guy 1 has invited you to an event: “It’s fucking over, you dumb whore.” Would you like to accept?

overheardatmcgill — Sat, 09 Dec 2006 01:56:03 +0000

[A large group of friends eating lunch.]
Girl 1: So what happened?
Girl 2: I don’t want to talk about it, ok? He sent me a facebook message, it’s over.

–BMH Caf

So, a New Rez girl walks into a Frat house…

overheardatmcgill — Fri, 01 Dec 2006 17:55:58 +0000

Upper Rez Girl: Yeah, we don’t have a meal plan on weekends. So I just don’t eat.
New Rez Girl: Whoa, that would be AWFUL…like doing the 30-hour famine EVERY WEEKEND!
Upper Rez Girl: Um…there are 48 hours in two days.
New Rez Girl: [looks away awkwardly]

–Phi Kappa Pi Frat House

I have eyelids?

Alex — Mon, 20 Nov 2006 20:05:00 +0000

Girl: Whenever I’m snowboarding I always forget to blink.
–BMH

Like, it gets in the way of my homework habit.

Alex — Thu, 16 Nov 2006 18:40:00 +0000

Girl: Yeah I love my roommate, she’s–
Guy: Yeah–
Girl: great, but, I need my space. Like, stop doing coke off my desk…

On University Ave, toward Upper Rez

Headline Submission Contest: Post Your Suggestions in the Comments

Alex — Sun, 12 Nov 2006 08:36:00 +0000

Guy: Let’s have sex.
Girl: Are you sure? I’m a necrophiliac, so if we were to have sex, I’d literally have to kill you first.
Guy: Well, I’ve got a severe case of rigor mortis in my pants right now.

—In the caf

there’s ice in the South?

Alex — Sat, 11 Nov 2006 08:21:00 +0000

American Girl: “I don’t know anything about hockey. Who even won the Stanley Cup last year?”
Canadian Girl: “Carolina.”
American Girl: “Carolina? Where’s that?”
Canadian Girl: “Like the state… there’s a North Carolina and a South Carolina”
American Girl: “Wait… the States has teams in the NHL? I thought it was just a Canadian thing!”

–BMH Cafeteria

116252101603667381

Alex — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 14:26:00 +0000

Guy: I don’t think seven years of bad sex would be that bad…after all, you could still drink, right?

–Upper Rez

116083755364639874

Alex — Sat, 14 Oct 2006 03:51:00 +0000

(in regards to intruders in rez)
Student: “Well we could get out the baseball bats”
Porter: “Or better yet we take their tonsils out, eh?”
–Upper Rez