Overheard At McGill » NewRez

I Eat Three Times A Day. Four If I’m Lonely.

Overheard@McGill — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 01:06:08 +0000

Girl: Food, when you’re high, is like porn. It’s just sooo good.

-New Rez Caf

The truth can be hard to swallow.

Overheard@McGill — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 21:14:09 +0000

Guy: How did you find your sources?

Girl: I sucked Wikipedia’s dick.

-New Rez Caf

A New Rezer Get The Facts Right…And We Still Make Fun Of Her

Overheard@McGill — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 06:05:41 +0000

Girl: (discussing Inglourious Basterds) Didn’t any, like, historians or whatever, look at it before it was released? I’m pretty sure that’s not what happened.
-New Rez

I Hear African Is Actually A Much Harder Language To Master.

Overheard@McGill — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 03:19:30 +0000

Girl: So I’m doing my laundry and my bras are all in a big pile, when these two asians walk in. And they were totally like, talking in asian about me. Then stole my dryer.

-New Rez laundry room

We Can Do It Better Ourselves

Overheard@McGill — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 02:07:43 +0000

Guy 1: With so much plastic surgery these days, it’s so hard to tell how old a person is by just looking at them.
Guy 2: If you really wanna know, just look at a person’s hands. You can tell by age spots and wrinkles.
Girl: Not me! When I get older I’m gonna get a hand job!

-New Rez

First Dates: Less Awkward With a Few Horse Tranquilizers

Overheard@McGill — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 21:52:12 +0000

(Ed Note: Tasteless rape-related quote has been moved under the fold; more objectionable than usual.)

Guy: It’s not rape if she’s not conscious.

-New Rez Cafeteria

But I’ll Make Sure She Doesn’t Get A Facebook Invite To A-Side Mondays

Overheard@McGill — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 02:03:18 +0000

Girl #1: Dude! That girl definitely just cut us in line! You gotta say something to her.
Girl #2: Ahh I can’t. She irrigates my crops on Farmville.

-New Rez

Abrevs Are Sweepin’ The Nashe

tdomf_9e22f — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 23:01:35 +0000

(At Metro Grocery Store. New Rez Girl surveys her shopping cart.)

New Rez Girl: You know, this is gonna be SO expen.

–Metro

â€œWhen you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend’s garden, you’ll know what to do!â€

overheardatmcgill — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 02:38:57 +0000

Girl 1: Oh my god. Like, there aren’t enough veggie choices in the caf. I think I’m just going to get pizza again.
Girl 2: OH, SO YOU’RE ONE OF THOSE VEGETARIANS!
Girl 1 looks confused
Girl 2: You don’t eat chicken but you’ll eat tomato sauce!
Girl 1 stares in confusion and awe

-New Rez

Forcing my pixilated minions to sleep is much more cathartic.

overheardatmcgill — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 04:07:08 +0000

Two girls in a New Rez elevator; one is crying:

Girl #1: Are you OK? You should lie down. It feels better to cry in your own bed.
Girl #2: (Sobbing) No, I won’t be able to sleep tonight…
Girl #1: OK. Well, do you want me to start up “The Sims”?
Girl #2: …yeah.

–New Rez

Your ignorance made me vomit my Vitamin Water.

overheardatmcgill — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:00:01 +0000

Bro 1: If you just eat a whole chicken for breakfast, is that enough protein for the day?
Bro 2: No man, you don’t get protein from chicken, you get it from protein shakes…dumbass.

-New Rez

Go one block right. Then another block right. Then another block right. Then one more block right, and you’re there!

tdomf_9e22f — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 15:02:53 +0000

Guy: I’m from Beaconsfield, it’s on the island of Montreal.
Girl: Where is the island of Montreal?

-New Rez

Oh. I hear that’s a dangerous neighborhood.

overheardatmcgill — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 14:22:24 +0000

Girl 1: Where are you from?
Girl 2: Regina.
Girl 1: Ha, yah, we all came from vagina
Girl 3: Actually, I was born from a C-Section
- New Rez

Not exactly what Nancy Reagan had in mind…

overheardatmcgill — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 02:09:26 +0000

Girl: No, but seriously though, I can’t even do coke this year because my new nose is really delicate.
-New Rez

MOMILF: My Own Mom I’d Like to Fuck

overheardatmcgill — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 02:36:36 +0000

Girl: Would you have sex with your mom for a million dollars?
Boy: I’d have sex with my mom just to get laid.
- New Rez Cafe

That’s right. Another Ron Paul joke. Cry about it.

overheardatmcgill — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 03:33:09 +0000

Girl 1: Ron Paul? Isn’t he a porn star?
Girl 2: Nope, that’s Ron Jeremy.
- Outside of New Rez

But seriously, I don’t have any change.

overheardatmcgill — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 07:03:48 +0000

Guy: You know, with long hair, when you see a homeless person you feel like you can really relate to them. You Know? It’s like saying ‘I can relate. I can feel you, I’m on your side.’
- New Rez

New Year, Old Habits

overheardatmcgill — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 13:31:41 +0000

New rez girl 1: Oh my god, it’s sooo cold
New rez girl 2: Can we drink here? where’s the bar?
New rez girl 3: So yeah, do you guys want me to call a cab to go back to New Rez?
- chez cora, on new years day (chez cora is 300 meters from New Rez)

.. -.. .. — -

overheardatmcgill — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 11:30:24 +0000

Girl 1: Ya, we should totally get walkie-talkies… then we can all learn Heimlich!
Girl 2: Morse code?
Girl 1: Morse code!
- New Rez caf

Freshman 30

overheardatmcgill — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 04:20:49 +0000

[Two New Rez girls discussing the mysteries of the body over pizza and sprite]
Girl 1: Oh my gawd, I need to stop eating like tomorrow. I have already gained 27 and a half pounds since September…I’m so gross…*stares at pizza in sadness and desire*
Girls 2: You TOTALLY have NOT. And either way, aren’t you on the pill now? It’s probably just water weight.
Girl 1: Yeah…that’s true, I’ve definitely been drinking A LOT more water lately, it must make you thirsty.
Girl 2: What? *bewildered look on face*
Girl 1: *bites into pizza with accomplished look on face*
- New Rez Cafeteria

And he’s about to bathe in the toilet.

overheardatmcgill — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 10:20:11 +0000

Sober guy: Where IS he?? Is he yacking?
Drunk 1st year: I’ll check the washroom
(kicks open door)
Sober guy: And….
Drunk 1st year: well… replace yacking with shitting, and toilet with bathtub
- New Rez

That might sound weird, but she only bathes me.

overheardatmcgill — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 13:14:16 +0000

Stoned guy: Don’t beat me up! I don’t want to be bruised tomorrow when my mom sees me naked!
- New Rez

If by morals, you mean breasts, then thanks.

overheardatmcgill — Sat, 14 Jul 2007 09:24:57 +0000

(three girls sitting on bed in New Rez)
Girl 1 (to Girl 2) : You’re a fat whore.well…minus the fat part
Girl 2: Whatever. I’d rather be a whore than fat
Girl 3: I like your morals…

—New Rez room

Because paper-towels don’t scream when you put them in the oven?

overheardatmcgill — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 12:41:16 +0000

Girl 1: (Talking to her friend) I mean, I don’t know why she stored those rolls of paper-towels in her oven…
- New Rez

This isn’t particularly funny. I just kind of want to know the answer.

overheardatmcgill — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 09:12:46 +0000

Guy: Hey you ever notice how American cornpops are different than Canadian ones?
New rez girl: YEAH! I know, eh! Think about it!
(Silence)
- New Rez

Overheard At McGill » NewRez

I Eat Three Times A Day. Four If I’m Lonely.

The truth can be hard to swallow.

A New Rezer Get The Facts Right…And We Still Make Fun Of Her

I Hear African Is Actually A Much Harder Language To Master.

We Can Do It Better Ourselves

First Dates: Less Awkward With a Few Horse Tranquilizers

But I’ll Make Sure She Doesn’t Get A Facebook Invite To A-Side Mondays

Abrevs Are Sweepin’ The Nashe

â€œWhen you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend’s garden, you’ll know what to do!â€

Forcing my pixilated minions to sleep is much more cathartic.

Your ignorance made me vomit my Vitamin Water.

Go one block right. Then another block right. Then another block right. Then one more block right, and you’re there!

Oh. I hear that’s a dangerous neighborhood.

Not exactly what Nancy Reagan had in mind…

MOMILF: My Own Mom I’d Like to Fuck

That’s right. Another Ron Paul joke. Cry about it.

But seriously, I don’t have any change.

New Year, Old Habits

.. -.. .. — -

Freshman 30

And he’s about to bathe in the toilet.

That might sound weird, but she only bathes me.

If by morals, you mean breasts, then thanks.

Because paper-towels don’t scream when you put them in the oven?

This isn’t particularly funny. I just kind of want to know the answer.

â€œWhen you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend’s garden, you’ll know what to do!â€