Overheard At McGill » nightlife

I’m Sorry. I Meant What I Did Before Bed.

Overheard@McGill — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 04:11:24 +0000

Guy: You’ll never guess what I did all summer. I got to play with sperm!

- Duff Building

Rejected By The X-Men, Boy Begins Life At McGill

overheardatmcgill — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 01:46:36 +0000

*walking past a bunch of froshies in front of a club*
Girl : If I could kill you all with my mind … I would.
Boy : If I could make you attractive with my mind…I would.

-St. Laurent

The Bar Mitzvah Scene Isn’t What It Used To Be

tdomf_9e22f — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 03:25:53 +0000

Girl 1: I hate him! He’s always smoking and getting high and bringing girls home and shit.
Girl 2: Well, older brothers are like that.
Girl 1: No, no, he’s 13.

-Roddick Gates

Douche: Language of Origin, French

overheardatmcgill — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 20:54:54 +0000

Guy (Picking Up Girl): Do you know the language of love? English?
-Cafe Campus

1-800-BIG-SLUT

overheardatmcgill — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 21:09:50 +0000

Girl 1: You are definitely sluttier than I am.
Girl 2: No way. You are!
Girl 1: You are sleeping with two guys.
Girl 2: You sleep with guys and don’t call them back…EVER.
Girl 1: Is that slutty?
- Cybertheque

Only CanestenÂ® offers a 1-chug cure – the ideal choice for women who prefer the cleanliness and convenience of a single vaginal beverage that rids you of Yeast Infection over just three seconds.

overheardatmcgill — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 15:19:35 +0000

Girl: All these sexual drinks…blowjob…orgasm…slippery nipple…they should have a drink called the Yeast Infection…….and the chaser would be Canesten…
- Peel Pub

Luckily, that will prevent him from living long enough to reproduce.

overheardatmcgill — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 12:57:24 +0000

White guy number 1: Yea, so i got gonorrhea.
White guy number 2: What, you got gonorrhea?
White guy number 1: Yea, but it’s no big deal, everyone gets it.
White guy number 2: I’ve never gotten it.
White guy number 1: Actually neither have I, but all my friends have. They just took 3 pills and it was done.
White guy number 2: I can’t take pills, it’s against my religion.
White guy number 1: what religion is that?
White guy number 2: Rastafari!
- Biftek, St-Laurent

If they don’t have AIDS by now, their immune system must be impregnible!

overheardatmcgill — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 06:42:37 +0000

(Its a incredibly cold outside, 2 guys in winter jackets are in line for a bar. A bit down the street are around 4 gay guys in incredibly tight pink short sleeve t-shirts in a different line.)
Guy 1: Man look!
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: I’m freezing and I’m in wearing a damn winter coat. What the fuck is wrong with those guys?
Guy 2: Obviously its cause their gay.
Guy 1: Ohhh…
- St. Laurent

Pushing it.

overheardatmcgill — Sat, 12 May 2007 20:52:09 +0000

In the bathroom at St. Sulpice, two girls are looking at themselves in the mirror.
Girl 1: Do I look okay?
Girl 2: Yeah, you look cute.
Girl 1: Cute like you want to sleep with me?
—St. Sulpice

I think that’s called a Hat Trick…

overheardatmcgill — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 16:46:48 +0000

Puck Bunny in Denial: Just because the last 3 guys I’ve had sex with were hockey players doesn’t make me a puck bunny!

—Champs on St Laurent

And then he goes into anaphylactic shock. Fuckin’ drama queen.

overheardatmcgill — Fri, 16 Mar 2007 16:54:10 +0000

Guy 1: And then he gets an allergic reaction!
Guy 2: What the fuck!
Guy 1: I know! And he starts trying to talk to me. And I’m like, what am I, a fucking charity?
Guy 2: I hate charity! That’s fucked up!
Guy 1: I’m thinking, if I wanted to donate to charity, I’d throw some change at the guy, but leave me the fuck alone.
—Boustan’sÂ

Probably not the most efficient way to start an orgy.

overheardatmcgill — Sun, 04 Mar 2007 14:16:25 +0000

Drunk Girl: I’ll give you all AIDS!!! MOTHER FUCKING HIV!!!

—Lodge

“But, they also paid for cover, my first six drinks, and the morning after pill.”

overheardatmcgill — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 06:03:19 +0000

Guy: Hey so how was you night last night.
Girl: Well I went to Lodge, it was great.
Guy: Really? Earlier in the day you were all stressed because you had an essay due, and you kept going on how you were gonna for sure do it last night.
Girl: Ya that made it even harder to go. But, really it was easy to justify. I mean my parents paid so I could get an education, not just a book education, but an education.
(Guy is a bit perplexed)
Guy: But, still…you’re gonna fail your essay.

—BMH

The way they dangle their participles… Fucking disgusting

overheardatmcgill — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 14:51:29 +0000

(Girls are parting before Girl 1 walks into Brutopia)
Girl 1: Good night! (hugs)
Girl 2: Good night! Don’t hook up with any creepy guys, and NO LINGUISTS!
Girl 3: Yeah, no fucking linguists. Unless they’re hot.
Girl 2: No! Not even then! No linguists!

—outside of Brutopia

â€œTwo things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the the universe.â€

overheardatmcgill — Sat, 03 Feb 2007 20:01:28 +0000

Management Girl (Talking to her friend in Science): You Science people think that you know everything. Just because you’re in Science doesn’t mean that you know more than me.
Science Friend: Alright, why don’t you prove it? What does the C in E = mc² stand for?
Management girl (Being completely serious): Thats too easy. THE C stands for CHAOS!!
—Gardner

(Prof has just been explaining molecular orbitals for the last half hour)
Student: Yes but what about E = mc²?
(entire class stares in silence….)
Prof: Ok… ummm…. that has absolutely nothing to do with any of this.
—-Chem 212

[Ed Note: When one of our edtiors read these two quotes, it resulted in the following:]
(at a party)
Editor: Hey, do me a favor.
girl: Sure
Editor: What’s the e in E = mc² stand for?
Girl: (confused look) …?
Editor: E… = mc².
Girl: …?
Editor: Einstein?
Girl: What?
Editor: You just made my day, I love you.

“I sincerely recommend it. Its quite the experience.”

overheardatmcgill — Thu, 01 Feb 2007 19:12:27 +0000

(in a retort to a fellow drunken cohort)
Drunk guy: “…oh yeah? Well you should gag on my balls.”

—Brutopia

You know what’s even cooler? A tracheotomy.

overheardatmcgill — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 21:11:16 +0000

[two (presumably drunk) girls smoking]
Girl 1: Oooooh my God, I’m so glad I started smoking!
Girl 2: I know, it looks so cool!

—Outside of BrutopiaÂ

“We also don’t wash the…oh, you want some more popcorn?”

overheardatmcgill — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 20:49:55 +0000

(Guy sitting at bar drinking out of a pitcher at Biftek)

Bartender: Um, Sir, would you please drink out of a beer mug?
Guy: Naw its okay i’m fine with the pitcher.
Bartender: No, Sir, its for sanitary reasons, we don’t wash the pitchers.
Guy’s girlfriend: Eew get a mug.
Guy: Naw it’s okay, I’m almost done.

—Biftek

“and if we put champagne in the water, we’ll have smoked the entire winter break!”

overheardatmcgill — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 10:27:52 +0000

At a hookah bar
Girl 1: What flavors did we order?
Girl 2: Coconut and Cappuccino
Girl 1: If we come back, can we mix flavors? Some of these would be really good together!
Girl 2: I know! Wouldn’t it be cool if they had cinnamon!
Girl 1:…or nutmeg!
Girl 3: Oh My God! That would be like smoking Christmas!!!!

[Group stunned in silence]

I’d explain what abridge means, but it’s really really long. I can’t tell the whole thing.

overheardatmcgill — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 05:47:01 +0000

(Several girls sitting outside a New Rez room)
Girl 1: OMG, the story is so funny, but it’s really really long. I can’t tell
the whole thing.
Girl 2: Oh please, come on, just tell it!
Girl 3: Can’t you just abridge it?
Girl 1: What about a bridge?
(stunned silence)

—New Rez

Science Carnival is an Administration conspiracy to deflate grades.

overheardatmcgill — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 05:40:35 +0000

Still Drunk Girl: Where’s the ‘r’ on the keyboard?
Guy: Really?
Still Drunk Girl: Oh, wait, is that what the little house means… homepage? Wow!
Guy: Oh my god.

—Stewart Bio

“But I didn’t want to go stand in line for another one”

Alex — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 22:16:08 +0000

Guy 1: man, you know when we were drunk last night and thought [redacted] was in his room? turns out he was going down on [redacted].
Guy 2: that’s disgusting. dude i saw her with her shirt off yesterday and i almost puked up my free beer.
- ATOC-240

Look through your shot cup

Alex — Fri, 12 Jan 2007 20:00:17 +0000

“If I look through my beer glass, she looks kind of pretty.”
- Brutopia

If Facebook existed in the 60s, Bush would have never been President

Alex — Sun, 07 Jan 2007 21:44:34 +0000

Girl: So how was your night last night?
Guy: I dunno, we’ll have to see what the Facebook pictures say
- SnowAP Tent

I know you’re in love, but can I just put it in my mouth, just for a little bit?

overheardatmcgill — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 21:31:02 +0000

Girl: “I know you have a girlfriend, but I’m really drunk. Can I just put my head in your lap for a little bit?”

—at a party