Overheard At McGill » residences

The truth can be hard to swallow.

Overheard@McGill — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 21:14:09 +0000

Guy: How did you find your sources?

Girl: I sucked Wikipedia’s dick.

-New Rez Caf

â€œWhen you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend’s garden, you’ll know what to do!â€

overheardatmcgill — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 02:38:57 +0000

Girl 1: Oh my god. Like, there aren’t enough veggie choices in the caf. I think I’m just going to get pizza again.
Girl 2: OH, SO YOU’RE ONE OF THOSE VEGETARIANS!
Girl 1 looks confused
Girl 2: You don’t eat chicken but you’ll eat tomato sauce!
Girl 1 stares in confusion and awe

-New Rez

If we were playing hangman, you’d be dead.

overheardatmcgill — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 06:48:45 +0000

Girl: Wait, wait.. What’s your name?
Guy: It rhymes with Fran. Just take out the R and change the F.
Girl: Tyler?

-MORE house

Your ignorance made me vomit my Vitamin Water.

overheardatmcgill — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:00:01 +0000

Bro 1: If you just eat a whole chicken for breakfast, is that enough protein for the day?
Bro 2: No man, you don’t get protein from chicken, you get it from protein shakes…dumbass.

-New Rez

…And remember, spay or neuter your froshies.

overheardatmcgill — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 21:48:10 +0000

Girl: Man, I was so upset when I got my period this morning! I was looking forward to having a month off and just getting an abortion in a couple of weeks. Seriously, sometimes life just isn’t fair.

-Molson Hall

That’s right. Another Ron Paul joke. Cry about it.

overheardatmcgill — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 03:33:09 +0000

Girl 1: Ron Paul? Isn’t he a porn star?
Girl 2: Nope, that’s Ron Jeremy.
- Outside of New Rez

“I feel like a $2.75 whore.”

overheardatmcgill — Thu, 01 Feb 2007 19:38:08 +0000

Girl 1: Yeah, he is really cute but he lives in Solin and thats far.
Girl 2: Â Yeah totally. Long distance relationships are way too hard.

—New Rez Caf

College Survival Guide 101: If it hasn’t killed you yet, it was probably edible.

overheardatmcgill — Sun, 14 Jan 2007 21:57:21 +0000

Girl 1: the only thing I don’t like about living out of rez is that I have to do dishes all the time
Guy 1: Whatever. I usually just lick stuff clean.

–Arts building

SPOILER ALERT: Student 2 and Student 1 are in fact the same Student

overheardatmcgill — Fri, 29 Dec 2006 23:00:47 +0000

(observing two students with improvised clubs and shields)
Floor Fellow:Hey, what are you guys up to?
Student 1: Fight club
Floor Fellow:Oh…alright. Good luck to both of you then. (moves to exit)
Student 2: If I bleed, I’ll call you.

—Upper Rez

Oh… well do you speak Latina?

overheardatmcgill — Fri, 22 Dec 2006 20:59:53 +0000

Girl 1: So wait your boyfriend is from Mexico and he doesn’t speak English?
Girl 2: Yeah.
Girl 1: So do you speak Mexican?
Guy 1: (amid eruptions of laughter in the group) You are aware that Mexican is a nationality and not a language, right?

—Upper Rez

Except secede.

overheardatmcgill — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 16:46:52 +0000

Guy 1: You’re drunk.
Guy 2: Shut the fuck up.
Guy 1: You shut up.
Guy 2: No! I can do whatever the fuck I want! It’s Canada!

—Upper Rez

Guy 1 has invited you to an event: “It’s fucking over, you dumb whore.” Would you like to accept?

overheardatmcgill — Sat, 09 Dec 2006 01:56:03 +0000

[A large group of friends eating lunch.]
Girl 1: So what happened?
Girl 2: I don’t want to talk about it, ok? He sent me a facebook message, it’s over.

–BMH Caf

They’re not just at New Rez…

overheardatmcgill — Fri, 08 Dec 2006 22:51:35 +0000

[Two blondes walking down the stairs]
Blonde Girl #1: Oh my god, I can’t believe we live on an island! I so didn’t know that!
Blonde Girl #2: I know… what would you do if it just like, sank?

- Gardner

Acknowledge the Gnomian Genocide!

overheardatmcgill — Fri, 08 Dec 2006 01:41:52 +0000

[while cramming for my global places and people exam]
Girl 1 : whats this about nomads in africa?
Girl 2: Oh i TOTALLY KNOW THAT!
Girl 1: i think its like something about pastoralization right?
Girl 2: No no.. its like gnomes and stuff
Girl 1: (with a look of disbelief)… you mean to tell me we’re supposed to know about GNOMES. like garden gnomes?
Girl 2: sure.. what? why?

—New Rez

You cannot cure Alzheimer’s…you can only forget about it.

overheardatmcgill — Fri, 08 Dec 2006 01:37:36 +0000

girl 1: im so excited for my grandmother to visit this weekend.
girl 2: yah mine told me she was going to visit soon…(silent pause)… but she has Alzheimer’s, so she probably forgot

—New Rez

No, wait, that’s just my parents’ tuition money…

overheardatmcgill — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 21:51:51 +0000

First Time Stoner Girl: Touch my hand!
Passing Guy: …uh…ok?
First Time Stoner Girl:: It’s….it’s…it’s evaporating! Â IÂ swear!
–Douglas Hall

On Tuesdays, they teach fruits and grains, too, using crayons, construction paper, and Elmer’s Glue. It’s cute.

overheardatmcgill — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 21:03:28 +0000

Girl 1: If it looks like a pepper and it’s red,Â it’s a RED PEPPER
Girl 2: But that could be a tomato!!
Girl 3: …tomatoes aren’t shaped like peppers.

–New Rez Caf

But isn’t there more to life than being really, really, really really ridiculously good-looking?

overheardatmcgill — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 21:01:33 +0000

[While eating dinner at RVC]
Gardner Girl #1 looksÂ around the cafeteria, says to Gardner Girl #2: “We are ridiculously good-looking…”

–RVC Cafeteria

Yes, I’ve been fucking the shower but the slimy bitch has been cheating on me.

overheardatmcgill — Mon, 04 Dec 2006 22:55:04 +0000

Girl 1: “im getting warts from the shower”
Girl 2: “like…. genital warts?”

–Molson Bathroom

Poor people don’t eat, duh.

overheardatmcgill — Sat, 02 Dec 2006 07:34:00 +0000

[Discussion of the fate of the unclaimed pots and pans left in the kitchenettes]
Girl 1: So what if no one comes to get them?
Girl 2: They’re donated to charity…
Girl 1: Why does charity need them? It’s not like they have any food to cook…

–McConnell Hall

So, a New Rez girl walks into a Frat house…

overheardatmcgill — Fri, 01 Dec 2006 17:55:58 +0000

Upper Rez Girl: Yeah, we don’t have a meal plan on weekends. So I just don’t eat.
New Rez Girl: Whoa, that would be AWFUL…like doing the 30-hour famine EVERY WEEKEND!
Upper Rez Girl: Um…there are 48 hours in two days.
New Rez Girl: [looks away awkwardly]

–Phi Kappa Pi Frat House

New Rez: We’ve been out of commission, but they keep talking.

overheardatmcgill — Thu, 30 Nov 2006 22:15:39 +0000

girl: I thought that hermaphrodites were something made up by the media…like amnesia.

—New Rez

And earthquakes TOTALLY ruin periods…(New Rez Strikes Back!)

Alex — Mon, 20 Nov 2006 09:30:00 +0000

girl #1: omg, i hate periods! periods ruin lives!!
girl #2: no, earthquakes ruin lives
…*silence*….
–New Rez

Like, it gets in the way of my homework habit.

Alex — Thu, 16 Nov 2006 18:40:00 +0000

Girl: Yeah I love my roommate, she’s–
Guy: Yeah–
Girl: great, but, I need my space. Like, stop doing coke off my desk…

On University Ave, toward Upper Rez

Gardner Gone Wild: The Series (only $19.95 for 4 Quotes, available on VHS, DVD, and Betamax)

Alex — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 14:29:00 +0000

Part One:
Drunk Male: I’m a fucking retard! Not retard as in “this is a safe zone” but retard as in “I’m missing a fucking Y chromosome.” If you were in science you’d understand…wait, what?
–Gardner Hall

Part Two:
Drunk Girl: I’m a prophet, and prophets don’t drink
–Gardner Hall

Part Three:
Drunk Male: Greece, the country. I has lots of island. 5 letters. G-R-E-E-K. Fuck! Shit! No, 7 letters. G-R-E-E-C…FUCK!
–Gardner Hall

Part Four:
Drunk Male: I am too drunk to taste my Gatorade, but it tastes so good!
–Gardner Hall

Overheard At McGill » residences

The truth can be hard to swallow.

â€œWhen you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend’s garden, you’ll know what to do!â€

If we were playing hangman, you’d be dead.

Your ignorance made me vomit my Vitamin Water.

…And remember, spay or neuter your froshies.

That’s right. Another Ron Paul joke. Cry about it.

“I feel like a $2.75 whore.”

College Survival Guide 101: If it hasn’t killed you yet, it was probably edible.

SPOILER ALERT: Student 2 and Student 1 are in fact the same Student

Oh… well do you speak Latina?

Except secede.

Guy 1 has invited you to an event: “It’s fucking over, you dumb whore.” Would you like to accept?

They’re not just at New Rez…

Acknowledge the Gnomian Genocide!

You cannot cure Alzheimer’s…you can only forget about it.

No, wait, that’s just my parents’ tuition money…

On Tuesdays, they teach fruits and grains, too, using crayons, construction paper, and Elmer’s Glue. It’s cute.

But isn’t there more to life than being really, really, really really ridiculously good-looking?

Yes, I’ve been fucking the shower but the slimy bitch has been cheating on me.

Poor people don’t eat, duh.

So, a New Rez girl walks into a Frat house…

New Rez: We’ve been out of commission, but they keep talking.

And earthquakes TOTALLY ruin periods…(New Rez Strikes Back!)

Like, it gets in the way of my homework habit.

Gardner Gone Wild: The Series (only $19.95 for 4 Quotes, available on VHS, DVD, and Betamax)

â€œWhen you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend’s garden, you’ll know what to do!â€