Overheard At McGill » science

I’d come along, but I’m allergic to irony.

tdomf_9e22f — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 21:14:01 +0000

Girl 1: Hey do you want to revise for chem tomorrow?
Girl 2: I can’t, I’m going to the procastination workshop at 2.

-Leacock

Unless Tonight’s Theme Is “The Cardiovascular System,” You’re Out of Luck.

tdomf_9e22f — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 05:50:17 +0000

Professor: I might make the exam tonight, but American Idol is on.

-Adams Auditorium

Ed. Note: Possible songs that could be sang on “Cardiovascular System Night” on American Idol: 1) Shot Through the Heart, Bon Jovi 2) Un-Break My Heart, Toni Braxton 3) A Rush of Blood to the Head, Coldplay.

More suggestions are welcome. Extra points if you think Tatiana Del Toro would sing it well.

Sometimes the Inconvenient Truth is More Convenient

Overheard@McGill — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 20:08:01 +0000

Guy: I am really into this Green Fashion Show and all, but sometimes I just wish there was global warming.
Girl: Seriously…

-Milton Gates

It probably fell out the Windows…

overheardatmcgill — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 15:18:12 +0000

Professor: My computer always crashes. I have a dual core. Not sure where the other one is; I paid for two, though.

-Leacock auditorium, CHEM 212

Don’t dismiss the possible networking opportunities of vomiting on the floor of the ER.

tdomf_9e22f — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 01:25:02 +0000

[Guy talking to a girl about his MCAT study books]

Girl: You shouldn’t be worried about getting into med school. You should be, like, worried about getting alcohol poisoning over the weekend.
-BIO 111 LAB

I’ll have the Carbon and Oxygen Trio. But can I replace the second Carbon with another Oxygen?

overheardatmcgill — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 02:34:40 +0000

Girl 1: I think I have food poisoning.
Girl 2: Yeah, it’s going around. I had it the other day, so did my friend. It must be something in the air.
- Schulich 5

Kinshasa University’s Urban Planning program is very, very poor.

overheardatmcgill — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 02:18:45 +0000

International student: I got in a car accident on my way to the airport.
Oblivious science student: OMG that’s crazy, I just don’t know how anyone manages to drive in Africa with no roads.
- Burnside Basement

I’m sure some science student gets this joke and thinks it’s funny.

overheardatmcgill — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 01:25:32 +0000

Student: You know, in the circular vascatory system…wait…don’t overheard that!
-Ghetto

This is our fourth dog in five years…

overheardatmcgill — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 01:25:41 +0000

Prof: There are typically three signs that indicate a child may be at risk for developing pyschotic tendencies. What are they?
Student: Pyromania, mutilating or killing animals, and early sexual tendencies.
Prof: That’s right. Now if you’re a parent and your kid is having sex with flaming animals, I would get that checked out.
- McConnell 13

Due to budget cuts, Religious Studies and BioChem are now one department.

overheardatmcgill — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 01:28:32 +0000

Prof: Now, I don’t want to alarm you, but what I am really trying to say here is if you like sex… watch out.
- BIOC 212

The Metaphysics of Physics

ArtKaz — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 12:59:28 +0000

Arts girl: You need to get a life
Physics girl: I can’t! I’m in physics!
- Burnside Basement

Clearly.

overheardatmcgill — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 12:49:45 +0000

Guy: Yeah, it’s like he’s fluent in science, he’s so good at it!
Girl: Science? that’s a good thing to be fluent at. I’m not even that well in ENGLISH.
- thankfully not an english class…

This Condition Is Called Hyperactive Separatist Syndrome

overheardatmcgill — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 00:27:24 +0000

Prof: If you show patients with right parietal cortex damage a map of Canada and ask them to point to Quebec, they will point to the middle of the Atlantic…which is where Quebec should really be.
- ANAT321 Circuitry of the Brain

Scavenger hunt item #36: Make-out with Mark Brown*

overheardatmcgill — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 00:11:41 +0000

Science carnival girl: Well I got two cankers this morning… so fuck you Mark Brown*!
- Post-boat races during Science Carnival

Guys are thus the quintessential example of “the tail wags the dog”

overheardatmcgill — Sun, 07 Oct 2007 11:34:57 +0000

Girl: When I was younger, I thought penises were remnants of tails.
Friends: *shocked silence*
Girl: So, you know, I thought that girls must be more highly evolved than guys because girls don’t have those little tails.
- Sherbrooke

Sort of like that pun.

overheardatmcgill — Sat, 28 Jul 2007 11:41:36 +0000

[Talking about brain lesions.]
Guest Lecturer: “In lesion studies, if you’re looking for small effects, you’re looking in the wrong place. Usually the effects kind of hit you over the head.”
–PSYC 211Â

The sad thing is that they all probably still got A’s.

overheardatmcgill — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 13:54:16 +0000

(Studying for the midterm in Terrestrial Planets, the quintessential bird course; Girl 1 has just claimed she’ll ace the exam)
Guy: So you have Mercury, Venus, Earth, and Mars as the terrestrial planets.
Girl 1 (who just claimed she’ll ace the exam): Wait, Mars isn’t a planet, it’s a moon!
Guy: (Frozen with shock) Umm.. No, you’re wrong.
Girl 2: (with certainty to girl 1) No, Mercury is the moon.
Guy: (walks away in disgust)
- Walking into midterm.

Chem 120 or whatever you just said?

overheardatmcgill — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 04:43:19 +0000

Prof: …This gentleman, Louis Pasteur, was the person who gained fame for sending cows out into the pasteur to be pasteurized.
Class: (still listening in silence)
Prof: That was a joke…
- Chem 120, Am class

Why else did you think he can speak to the animals?

overheardatmcgill — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 12:49:20 +0000

Girl 1: Isn’t that the guy in the Jungle Book?
Girl 2: No, that’s the kid from 3rd Rock From the Sun.
Girl 1: …Mowgli’s from space?
Â - Sherbrooke and McGill College

“I got wait-listed by the Christian Bible Academy… McGill was a safety”

overheardatmcgill — Wed, 23 May 2007 22:06:37 +0000

ditzy girl: …and then she said that she had a component face!
guy: what??
ditzy girl: You know, like, in science and stuff.
guy: huh?
ditzy girl (getting annoyed): You knowwww…there’s like, little things that swirl around together and make Adam.
guy: You mean Atoms?
ditzy girl: No stupid!! The Garden of Eden.
guy: The Garden of Eden is on your face???
ditzy girl (getting really annoyed): NO idiot! That’s ridiculous. (pauses) It was on HER face.
guy (really confused): What’s your major again?
ditzy girl: Some science thing. I can’t remember
guy: I thought you were taking History?
ditzy girl: Duh!! You are so stupid sometimes. History IS science
guy: (silent)
ditzy girl: I don’t even know why I even bother with you sometimes. How did you get into McGill???
- Outside the McGill bookstore

entirely unlike mine.

overheardatmcgill — Tue, 15 May 2007 15:10:05 +0000

Professor: Anyways, for the next few weeks I will be teaching you about Organic Chemistry. The reason why we decided to put a organic chunk into this course, is because a number of you will never take a organic chemistry course. And without the basics of organic chemistry you would of course live a completely and utterly meaningless life.
- CHEM 120