Overheard At McGill » war

Two Legs Good, Four Legs Bad

tdomf_9e22f — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 18:57:31 +0000

Guy on the phone, in a serious tone: No, I totally understand you. This is serious, this is war. This is modern fucking war. You know what, we just have to put bacon bits everywhere.

-University and Milton

Why Does Michael Bay Get to Keep On Making Movies?

tdomf_9e22f — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 03:17:30 +0000

Prof: During the American occupation, American individuals who rewrote the Japanese Constitution made it anticonstitutional for Japan to have a standing army anywhere outside of Japan.
Girl 1: But then, how come Pearl Harbour happened??!

-Econ 335

I grew a beard once but I ended up burning down a village.

overheardatmcgill — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 17:00:03 +0000

A slide with a picture of Robert Mugabe is shown.

Guest lecturer: You guys have seen that t-shirt that says “Guns don’t kill people, mustaches kill people”. Yeah, that’s pretty much it. So many bad people throughout history have had horrible mustaches! Hitler, Stalin, Mugabe… all had mustaches!

Class laughs.

Guest lecturer: No, really, mustache aside, he really is a murderer and a bad person.

-POLI 324

Breaking News: International War Tribunal Rejects Pikachu’s Defense of “I was only following orders.”

overheardatmcgill — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 18:48:03 +0000

Guy: You do realize what you just did, right? You tied a Holocaust paper to Pokemon.
- RVC

Yes, but their limbs will remain in Iraq until at least 2009.

overheardatmcgill — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 17:07:13 +0000

Girl: Last night, Bush said that 5,000 soldiers would be sent home from Iraq by the end of the year.
Guy: Alive?
- arts lounge

It’s not that the initial comment was funny, just that we’re laughing at the Prof for thinking it was.

overheardatmcgill — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 21:10:58 +0000

Prof: “… if we eliminate testosterone, we can eliminate war. And I’m quite certain this quote will show up on Overheard at Mcgill in about five minutes considering how many computers they have here.”

—POLI 244

So was Saddam, before you went ahaed and tore down his fucking statue

overheardatmcgill — Fri, 25 May 2007 09:33:52 +0000

Prof: Saddam was so powerful, he was like…God!…Wait…I don’t mean to compare Saddam to God, because you know, God is merciful.”
- Burnside

Because, umm, there’s a fire in it! Wait, wrong cliche.

overheardatmcgill — Thu, 17 May 2007 22:45:25 +0000

Screaming Drunk Guy: GET IN THE HOLE!!
– Outside Molson at 2:30 am on a Wednesday morning

Musharraf: Guys, come on, some people are trying to listen…

overheardatmcgill — Thu, 17 May 2007 13:26:21 +0000

Prof: Quiet please, or otherwise you’ll never know how to launch a military coup, and you’ll make a mess of it, and you’ll DIE.Â
- Poli 227 class on The Military in Politics

In other news, three children in Somalia struck gold today…

overheardatmcgill — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 15:15:45 +0000

Guy, to girl: Oakville’s really fashionable these days. It’s like the landmine of Ontario.
Girl: What?
Guy: Not that. You know what I mean…
[seconds pass]
Guy: Goldmine. The goldmine.

—rue Union, across the street from Metro

There are 300 things wrong with this conversation

overheardatmcgill — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 21:43:35 +0000

Girl 1: My boyfriend is really excited about this new movie…300?
Girl 2: Yeah! It looks so cool! It’s about–
Girl 1: Like, bows and arrows and stuff, right?
(Pause)
Girl 2: Well, sure, it’s about this famous battle between Sparta and–
Girl 1: Yeah! My boyfriend is totally into all that…Medieval stuff.

—Roddick Gates

Dildos over Baghdad!

overheardatmcgill — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 17:00:56 +0000

Professor: Does anyone want to know how foreign explosive penetrators work?
(Prof goes to board and reads advertisement for V-Day McGill)
Professor: “Vaginas for life bitches?” This is perfect for talking about explosive penetrators.

—Leacock 132

In retaliation, American Guy would go to Afghanistan and mistakenly kill two Canadians.

overheardatmcgill — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 17:24:03 +0000

American Guy: [Jokingly] Canadians are mostly pussies who’ll believe anything the government tells them. I bet if me and you threw down I’d win solely on the fact that I’m American and you’re Canadian.
Canadian Guy: Oh please. If you and I actually got into a real fight you’d get knock down faster than the Twin Towers.

—Outside Redpath

…but Iraq’s a BLAST!

overheardatmcgill — Fri, 09 Feb 2007 18:00:25 +0000

Prof: War is not fun. And Vietnam certainly wasn’t fun.

—POLI-346

Also, meet my cousin, Operation Iraqi Freedom

overheardatmcgill — Sun, 04 Feb 2007 13:06:02 +0000

Girl 1: My aunt was born in Virginia and her middle name is the fort where her parents met
Girl 2: I think it’d be horrible to be named after a fort…like henry
(pause)
Girl 2: Henry’s a fort, right?

—New Rez

Comparing the health of the peace process to that of Sharon would have been funnier had his doctors not given up on any chance of recovery.

overheardatmcgill — Thu, 01 Feb 2007 18:20:02 +0000

TA: “So following Sharon’s visit to the Temple Mount in September of 2000, the Palestinians became violent again and the Second Infitadah began. However, this time there was far more intense violence directed at Israeli soldiers and citizens, rather than just the rock throwing of the First Infitadah…This really put the Palestinian peace process into a coma…kinda like Sharon…”

—POLI 347

Military-Industrial Complex ain’t got nothing on McGill’s Superiority Complex.

overheardatmcgill — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 01:57:15 +0000

Student: Is it true that a McGill professor is working on a bunker-busting bomb?
Professor: Yes, because we have learned that Concordia is up to something in their bunkers
(Class: slight laughter )
Professor: Yes, that is where they are training them to deliver pizza.
(Class: loud laughter and applause)

—POLI 227 (Intro. to Developing Areas), Leacock 132

Hey, Somalia, you want some foreign aid taking off those dirty, dirty sanctions?

overheardatmcgill — Sun, 14 Jan 2007 22:58:51 +0000

Guy: We’re taking it back, I’m putting the rape back in diplomatic relations.

—SSMU Lounge

And in other news, a 14-foot statue of Gerald Ford was brought down and looted in Fallujah, Michigan

overheardatmcgill — Tue, 09 Jan 2007 21:48:21 +0000

girl 1: i went to new york over break and all the flags were at half mast.
what’s up with that?
girl 2 (jokingly): saddam hussein died.
girl 1 (seriously): oh, that makes sense.

–Arts Lobby

On the bright side, not much Calculus in Afghanistan

Alex — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 22:40:01 +0000

Canadian soldier (twists beret nervously in his hands): Yeah, I’m not really on duty right now; I’m actually going to school… I have to take CALCULUS.
McGill Girl: Really? I don’t have to take calculus.
Canadian soldier (drops beret in shock): That’s not fair!
- PE Trudeau Airport

“…but the Jews one-upped him, and now they get their meals served first on planes”

Alex — Sun, 07 Jan 2007 22:03:44 +0000

Girl 1: my friend is kosher… what is that?
Girl 2: kosher is something Hitler came up with to keep the Jews away from his food.
- Leacock 132

Ok, now I’m confused. When’d Guatanomo Bay happen?

Alex — Sat, 06 Jan 2007 19:33:26 +0000

Girl #1: Wasn’t World War I the war with all the countries and World War II the
war against the Jews??
Girl #2:Ummmm… No!!
Girl #1: Oh right, that was pearl harbor!

- New Rez