Guy: Last year I had the Prince of Yemen in one of my Psych classes and he was absolutely beautiful.
Girl: Did you want to marry him and do dirty things to him?
Guy: No, it was more like put-him-on-a-pedestal-and-look-at-him-all-day kinda beautiful.

-The Atrium

Girl 1: Did you know there’s an underground tunnel connecting Leacock and Redpath?
Girl 2: Really?! I wish there was a tunnel connecting Leacock and Stewart Bio… I mean, it wouldn’t be that hard to do, would it?

-Corner of Peel and Dr. Penfield

Girl 1: Can you guys believe that John dated me before I even blossomed?! (sincere puzzled look)

Girl 2: No, oh my God… you’re so lucky (looks with envy)

-BMH caf line

Guy 1: Man that was sooo gay.
Guy 2: Ya man, that was so gay that I need to go home to watch porn to reaffirm my heterosexuality.
– Sherbrooke and University

Guy 1: I heard that Carrottop is really buff now, like really huge.
Guy 2: He should start giving out random bear hugs.
Girl: Wouldn’t it be funny if movie stars just started grabbing people and yelling out the names of movies they’ve been in?
Guy 1: (Screaming and hugging himself) ”CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD! CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD!”

-BMH Caf

(Guy taking a shit, yelling to friend outside bathroom)

Guy: Man, I can’t wait to take a shit in a bathroom I can actually fit in.
-Rue Ste-Famille

Guy (in a somewhat condescending manner): you know your shoes match your shirt
Girl: yeah, that’s kind of the point.
Guy: Oh.
– BDP

Girl: (talking to her friend on the phone) He didn’t take advantage of me enough!

-Outside SSMU

(The Professor is about to show the class a video demonstrating the effect of adding mentos to soda. A young kid is shown and is about to add mentos to cola)

Professor: While this wasn’t the most impressive mentos geyser that I saw, I did like how the kid almost got hit in the face.

-Chem 120, Leacock

(Its 5 in the morning and two guys have obviously been overworking for at least 10 hours)

Guy 1: How did you study for the calculus final?
Guy 2: Well, my friend took the course and he failed it
Guy 1: What are you talking about… what does your friend have to do with it
Guy 2: I said I took it. Who are you talking about, which friend?
Guy 1: You said that your friend took the course and failed it.
Guy 2: I never said that.

-Burnside at 5 am