I never let necrophobia get in the way of studying for history, or a getting laid.
Brunette: I can’t go tomorrow night, I have to go see “JFK.”
Blonde: …But JFK’s dead! Why would you want to see him?
- Outside Werby’s on Parc
Brunette: I can’t go tomorrow night, I have to go see “JFK.”
Blonde: …But JFK’s dead! Why would you want to see him?
- Outside Werby’s on Parc
Girl 1: Yeah, Bill Clinton has this disease that makes him constantly erect. Like, he has to take medication to make it stop. Some other big, famous black guy has it actually, but I forget who it is. I think he was an NBA player…
Guy 1: Shaquille O’Neal? I can definitely see him having that.
[silence]
Girl 1: Oh no, I’ve got it! It was Malcolm X.
- Milton Gates
Guy: Hey you ever notice how American cornpops are different than Canadian ones?
New rez girl: YEAH! I know, eh! Think about it!
(Silence)
- New Rez
popular music girl 1: so, the paper can be on anything right?
popular music girl 2: yah, except you know, classical and jazz.
popular music girl 1: jazz? what about christina aguilera?
popular music girl 2: …she’s jazz?
popular music girl 1: yes, i heard her last album, it was ALL jazz. she’s jazz now.
popular music girl 2: oh.
popular music girl 1: you didn’t know?
- arts computer lab
Guy: “Listen…Bob Dylan…Musical genius, yea…but premature ejaculator.”
Guy 1: Yeah, but I mean the level of gay sex was just … I mean WOW. It was huge.
Girl 1: Well sure, but the midgets get caught everywhere.
- ARTS Cafe
Girl talking on cellphone
Girl: He had stubby fingers. Little stubby butcher’s fingers. You wouldn’t want to feel those caressing your body.
Long Pause
Girl: He was a good lay, though.
- Outside McConnell
Girl 1: It’s so awkward when you hear somebody have sex. The other day my roommate came up to me and said she could often hear me having sex unless her music is blasting. That night she walked in on me and told me she wanted to turn her music off so she can go to sleep. She actually asked me not to moan too loud!
Girl 2: Yeah the other time I told my mom: “Yeah mom, like, I could hear you have sex last night… Our house is pretty small you know”
- Press Cafe
(A discussion about penis size)
Girl 1: You need at least 5 inches.
Girl 2: I need at least, like . . more!”
- Thompson House
Guy: Oh my god, look at the Asian twins!
Girl (in a super accusatory voice): They’re not twins, they’re just both Asian!
- Rue Clark