Friday, October 31, 2008

Go one block right. Then another block right. Then another block right. Then one more block right, and you’re there!

Guy: I’m from Beaconsfield, it’s on the island of Montreal.
Girl: Where is the island of Montreal?

-New Rez

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Nice douchebag, manners.

Waiter: How would you like your eggs?
Guy #1: Easy-over please.
Guy #2: It’s over-easy, dude.
Girl: Yeah, he’s right.
Guy #1: Oh whatever.. hold my dick.
(pause)
Guy #1: Or wait.. dick my hold.

-Chez Cora

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Guns don’t kill people. Middle-aged white intellectual men kill people.

Prof: It’s tough to just walk into someone’s office and stab him through the heart. It’s hard! Believe me!

-Unknown Class

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I tried the Asian flavor, but its parents were too strict.

Girl 1: God, what are you drinking?
Girl 2: Soy milk.
Girl 1: SOY WHITE MILK?

-Arts Lounge

Monday, October 27, 2008

And she claims to not believe in evolution

Girl 1: It says here that Sarah Palin has a baby with Down’s Syndrome.
Girl 2: Oh…
Girl 1: Do you know who Sarah Palin is?
Girl 2: Yeah, she’s that woman with the huge hands, right?

-Campus

I’d rather be a bigot than a f***ing bumblebee…

Prof: There have been accounts of down syndrome kids who’ve done really well, gone on to get university degrees… usually from Concordia.

-Stewart Bio

Sunday, October 26, 2008

And Linux is like using contraceptive foam?

Guy 1: Viruses are like the STDs of porn.
Guy 2: Yeah, that’s why you use a Mac. It’s like wearing a condom.
Guy 1: Yeah, but it just doesn’t feel the same.

-Duluth

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Oy, it’s really a big schlep.

Girl:So I booked my cruise and my trip to Florida in the same week. People who aren’t Jewish don’t understand that going to Florida is not a luxury anymore.

-Second Cup

Friday, October 17, 2008

Apologies from the Editors

Hey loyal readers,

     Sorry for the lack of recent posts.  We are just in the middle of some re-organizing.  We will be back very soon with some funny new posts.  Just keep your mouth shut to make sure they aren’t from you…

I think he went to a Catholic school or something.

Upper year girl, on a recent relationship with a much younger student: I couldn’t get him into bed any other way. I had to date him!

- McGill Ghetto

Next Page »
Log in