Friday, January 30, 2009

But surely you know that nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Girl: (yelling angrily) Will someone PLEASE tell me what the STUPID Spanish Inqui-frickin-sition is?!

-Leacock

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Sometimes the Inconvenient Truth is More Convenient

Guy: I am really into this Green Fashion Show and all, but sometimes I just wish there was global warming.
Girl: Seriously…

-Milton Gates

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The sexual exchange rate is just in the toilet now…

Guy: I hug you and all I get is head.

- outside Wong

Next Question. What Does ORG Stand For? Anyone?

Professor: Does anyone know what MAT stands for?
(Silence)
Professor: Ménage à trois.
(Laughter)
Oblivious Student: Must be a lot of French people here…

-Otto Maass

Thursday, January 22, 2009

…and that’s when I switched my major to physiology.

Professor: There are normal and excessive sex organs. Excessive organs are like breasts in women. We’ll touch upon them next class.

-Subway in Arts

Buddy, You’re Talking to Yourself Again

Guy: If either of us was to become a paranoid schizophrenic and kill someone, I think it’s less likely to be me…

-Arts Building Steps

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Professor by day, dancer by night

(talking about a professor)

Girl: He’s so hot, with that white shirt he always wears.

Guy: Actually last week he was wearing this….burlesque-like sweater!

Girl: … you mean burlap?

–Leacock

He Thought Harold & Kumar Was Total Trash Though.

Girl #1: So is he a pothead?
Girl #2: Oh, no – but he does smoke a lot, and deal…
-RVC Caf

Friday, January 16, 2009

Potassium is always important, despite the orifice of entry.

Guy: Did she use the strap-on banana?

- Outside Redpath cafeteria

O@M haz n00 stufz, no cheeseburgers.

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