Wednesday, January 27, 2010

You Mean I Don’t Get to Teach!? This School is Bullshit.

H.S. Girl: So, how do I know if I should go to graduate studies or undergraduate studies?
Tour Guide: You have to do an undergraduate degree before going on to graduate studies.
H.S. Girl: Okay, so how do I find out if I’ve done one?

–McGill Campus Tour

Monday, January 25, 2010

Magellan the Nihilist

Guy 1 : Dude, where is the Pacific Ocean?
Guy 2: Seriously? Like, the biggest ocean in the world?
Guy 1: Yeah, I guess.

-Leacock

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Gay Means Happy, Right?

Girl 1: Can you be gay if you’ve never had sex with anyone?
Girl 2:
I don’t know…do you feel gay when you masturbate?

–Shatner

This Course Has Got My Numbers

Girl 1: My religious studies class only has the Bible as a required text.
Girl 2: Like the Bible bible?
Girl 1: Yeah. Like Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Oedipus…

-McConnell

Sunday, January 17, 2010

A bit more than your head can.

Girl (to Cashier): How much data can a 4GB USB fit?

-McGill Bookstore

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Like A Blood Orange

Girl: My vagina is ripe! I gotta use eight tampons at night and two overnight pads, at once, when I sleep.

-Burnside Bathroom

Sunday, January 10, 2010

A New Rezer Get The Facts Right…And We Still Make Fun Of Her

Girl: (discussing Inglourious Basterds) Didn’t any, like, historians or whatever, look at it before it was released? I’m pretty sure that’s not what happened.
-New Rez

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