*Drunk girl cracks open a beer*

Sober girl: I don’t think that’s a good idea.
Drunk girl: I’m fine! Ask me anything!
Sober girl: Ok. What does Serotonin do?
Drunk girl: Sero-tonin?
Sober girl: See, you’re drunk!
Drunk girl: But…Sarah Tonin! I don’t know who she is!

-New Rez

Guy: How did you find your sources?

Girl: I sucked Wikipedia’s dick.

-New Rez Caf

Guy: Dude, of course she’s going to go down all the way. She’s an engineer.

- Leacock