Librarian: You do not have to cite general knowledge facts that everyone knows, such as that terrorists bombed the Twin Towers on September 11, 2000.

-Leacock 132

Prof: During the American occupation, American individuals who rewrote the Japanese Constitution made it anticonstitutional for Japan to have a standing army anywhere outside of Japan.
Girl 1: But then, how come Pearl Harbour happened??!

-Econ 335

“I got really drunk and woke up in a corn field in Minnesota.”

-the benches by Leacock

Girl 1: It says here that Sarah Palin has a baby with Down’s Syndrome.
Girl 2: Oh…
Girl 1: Do you know who Sarah Palin is?
Girl 2: Yeah, she’s that woman with the huge hands, right?

-Campus

Guy 1: So I signed up for the Republican Club.
Guy 2: But you’re not Republican, are you?
Guy 1: No, but this guy was wearing a shirt I really liked. I just want the shirt.
- Lower Campus

Girl 1: Ron Paul? Isn’t he a porn star?
Girl 2: Nope, that’s Ron Jeremy.
- Outside of New Rez

Ditsy girl: Oh my God! New York State is, like, the coolest city in the world!
- McGill bookstore cafe

Guy 1: Well, she’s a senator.
Guy 2: She’s a woman, yeah…but she’s not stupid.
- Schulich 5th

American: In Canada you may have free health care, BUT in AMERICA WE HAVE SOCIAL INJUSTICE!
- Greenbriar Rez Common Room

Brunette: I can’t go tomorrow night, I have to go see “JFK.”
Blonde: …But JFK’s dead! Why would you want to see him?
- Outside Werby’s on Parc