Prof: The most common way to experience the feeling of ecstasy is through orgasm… Have you all had orgasms? I hope so… That’s your homework tonight. Everyone needs to go home and have an orgasm.

-Arts Legacy

Girl: …and I took this course thinking it would be, like, easy, but, like, we’re learning stuff that, like, I’ve never learned before!

Guy: Yeah, totally…

-Molson

Librarian: You do not have to cite general knowledge facts that everyone knows, such as that terrorists bombed the Twin Towers on September 11, 2000.

-Leacock 132

Librarian: “Just start milking the bibliographic cow.”

-HIST 396

Professor: There are normal and excessive sex organs. Excessive organs are like breasts in women. We’ll touch upon them next class.

-Subway in Arts

Guy: If either of us was to become a paranoid schizophrenic and kill someone, I think it’s less likely to be me…

-Arts Building Steps

Girl 1: So, are you coming back for New Year’s?
Girl 2: Oh, definitely… when is New Year’s this year? The 31st?
Girl 1: Yeah, I think so…

-HISP 225

Prof: It’s tough to just walk into someone’s office and stab him through the heart. It’s hard! Believe me!

-Unknown Class

Girl 1: God, what are you drinking?
Girl 2: Soy milk.
Girl 1: SOY WHITE MILK?

-Arts Lounge

Student: Well, seeing how Egypt is in Asia, it makes sense that its on the left.
Prof: Actually Egypt is in Africa, and thats not Asia.
-English Literature