Girl 1: So how are you liking Montreal?
Girl 2: I really like it, but there’s so many people who speak french, you know?

- Leacock 132

Prof: I havn’t felt particularly horny lately, actually.

-Arts Legacy

Prof: Firms get a hard on when they make profits….

- Econ 225

Girl: 7 Kids out of 1000? Jeez What percentage is that?

-Leacock Auditorium

Prof: The most common way to experience the feeling of ecstasy is through orgasm… Have you all had orgasms? I hope so… That’s your homework tonight. Everyone needs to go home and have an orgasm.

-Arts Legacy

Professor: The slaughter industry is the biggest user of tampons in Canada.

-Class

Student 1:Where is the exam? Students are telling me different things… time and place please!?

TA: The midterm is in class.

Student 2: i looked up the building code for CLASS and couldn’t find it!!

-WebCT

Prof: During the American occupation, American individuals who rewrote the Japanese Constitution made it anticonstitutional for Japan to have a standing army anywhere outside of Japan.
Girl 1: But then, how come Pearl Harbour happened??!

-Econ 335

Girl 1: So, are you coming back for New Year’s?
Girl 2: Oh, definitely… when is New Year’s this year? The 31st?
Girl 1: Yeah, I think so…

-HISP 225

While answering questions in Essentials of English Grammar:

Prof: Sorry, I lost my train of thought. I was thinking of Samuel L. Jackson.

-ED216