Girl 1: Chances of winning the Tim Hortons free coffee are 1 out of 10
Girl 2: No, my sister said even if you buy 10 you might not win

- SSMU Lounge

Girl 1: The only thing keeping me in university is fear of what other people would think if I dropped out.

Girl 2: Yeah, if it weren’t for society, I would totally just go to Mexico and be a prostitute.

-Second Cup

Freshman Girl: Excuse me, where did you get that Tim Hortons cup?

Confused Older Student: Uhh… Tim Hortons?

-Schulich

Girl:So I booked my cruise and my trip to Florida in the same week. People who aren’t Jewish don’t understand that going to Florida is not a luxury anymore.

-Second Cup

Ditsy girl: Oh my God! New York State is, like, the coolest city in the world!
- McGill bookstore cafe

[Bunch of mathies laughing/studying in Second Cup. The only girl waits for a break in the conversation]
Math Girl: “Ha, yeah. Yeah well that’s just like something my friend told me once. She said she liked her men like tea. Hot, strong, dark and sweet. Heehee.”
(all the boys just look back at their calculators)

—Second Cup

Guy 1: Yeah, but I mean the level of gay sex was just … I mean WOW. It was huge.
Girl 1: Well sure, but the midgets get caught everywhere.
- ARTS Cafe

Girl: What if you were on a deserted island alone with only an ugly girl? Would you sleep with her then?
Superficial Guy: Maybe. But I’d cover her face with leaf before I did it. Actually, make that two leaves…in case the first one falls off.
Girl: OMG. What about a fat girl? Would you do a fat girl?
Superficial Guy: We’re on a deserted island right? Nothing to do? I’d make her run around a couple times, then I’d maybe think about it…
- Tim Horton’s on University

Prof: Quiet please, or otherwise you’ll never know how to launch a military coup, and you’ll make a mess of it, and you’ll DIE. 
- Poli 227 class on The Military in Politics

Guy (presumably): Why are you playing trance at fucking Second Cup? Fucking play some music that doesn’t make me want to drop a bunch of acid and lick the wall in the back corner of Stereos
- AUS lounge