Girl: [to two guys] I actually thought you two would be Asian, you know, because I heard you were really smart…

-Leacock

Guy #1: So how are you going to get citizenship in both England and Canada?
Guy #2: I told you, I’m getting dual citizenship. It’s pretty normal.
Guy #1: OHHH. I thought you said jewel citizenship, like some weird British thing.

-Schulich Library

Girl 1: I really like when windows are look-through resistant.
Girl 2: You mean tinted?
-Durocher & Prince Arthur

Girl: Being a prostitute in Mexico? Thats actually a pretty good idea.
Boy: Umm, why?
Girl: All the guys are tan there!
-Milton Gates

Guy: What do you think about euthanasia?
Girl: I think they’re tacky…
Guy: What?
-Schulich Library

Girl 1: I hate him! He’s always smoking and getting high and bringing girls home and shit.
Girl 2: Well, older brothers are like that.
Girl 1: No, no, he’s 13.

-Roddick Gates

Girl 1: The only thing keeping me in university is fear of what other people would think if I dropped out.

Girl 2: Yeah, if it weren’t for society, I would totally just go to Mexico and be a prostitute.

-Second Cup

Chinese girl: I’m black in South Africa. There’s a new by-law.

-Burnside

Girl 1: What, exactly, does Muslim mean?
Girl 2: I think it’s, like, a type of Islam or something.

-Stewart Bio

“The Brown Student Services Building??.. What? Where do the white people go?”

-McTavish Gates