Girl 1: So how are you liking Montreal?
Girl 2: I really like it, but there’s so many people who speak french, you know?

- Leacock 132

Girl #1: Wait, is the Plateau a building?
Girl #2: Or is it like a region?

-Aylmer

Girl 1: I really like when windows are look-through resistant.
Girl 2: You mean tinted?
-Durocher & Prince Arthur

Cop: Ladies, you’re not allowed to have open alcohol in public.
Girl #1: We know…
Girl #2: But we’re in the ghetto! Does that count?

-Milton & Hutchison

Girl 1: You know she slept with the Le Main boy last night?
Girl 2: The one she lost her virginity to?
Girl 1: Nope.
Girl 2: Oh, was it the one she fucked before reading week?
Girl 1: Nope…

-Campus

Boy: I just got an interview with a law firm.
Girl: You want to be a lawyer?
Boy: No, I want to be a paralegal.
Girl: But… you can walk…

- Ghetto

Guy (on phone): You’re just looking for the cheapest way possible to get completely wasted. Here at McGill, we have class. We drink, like, Rum Runner.

-University & Milton

Girl 1: Sex is like the best diet ever. You burn so many calories.

Girl 2: Uhhhh, that’s not a diet, that’s an exercise regime.

Girl 1: Not the sex I have…

Girl 2: Gross.

-Prince Arthur

Girl: Wait, wait.. What’s your name?
Guy: It rhymes with Fran. Just take out the R and change the F.
Girl: Tyler?

-MORE house

Girl: Don’t have sex on the couch!
Guy: Why not? You can have sex on the couch, I don’t mind.
Girl: Mhh, you wouldn’t like that. I’m a fountain.

-Aylmer