Girl: Right before he passed out in the hall he peed on your door.
Boy: There’s only one way to solve this; I’m peeing on his door.
-Molson

Girl: …and I took this course thinking it would be, like, easy, but, like, we’re learning stuff that, like, I’ve never learned before!

Guy: Yeah, totally…

-Molson

Girl: NO! It’s salad dressing, NOT semen!!

-Molson Hall

Girl: Man, I was so upset when I got my period this morning! I was looking forward to having a month off and just getting an abortion in a couple of weeks. Seriously, sometimes life just isn’t fair.

-Molson Hall

Screaming Drunk Guy: GET IN THE HOLE!!
– Outside Molson at 2:30 am on a Wednesday morning

Girl 1: She told me to sleep naked last night so that when you guys came in in the morning I’d be naked. I didn’t listen to her. I don’t usually sleep naked.
Girl 2: Didn’t you sleep naked the night before that?
Girl 1: Well, yeah. But that’s because I was too drunk to remember I wasn’t wearing pants. (pause) Tonight’s going to be one of those nights.

—Molson

(Guy and girl are walking up steps)

Guy: But seriously, aren’t you afraid that when you give birth you’re going to shit yourself?

—Molson

Rich Girl: “Yeah, that was my pickup line over the summer: ‘So, wanna walk me down to my boat?’”
Girl: “haha nice… what’s your pickup line now?”
Rich Girl: “Um….’So, wanna bone?’”

—Molson

Guy 1: Oh, sorry man. I forgot to tell you about it… if you were on facebook, I would have invited you.
Guy 2: (looks pissed off) …I live two doors down from you…

—Molson

Guy: “You couldn’t defend yourself against a three-year-old so you had to knee him in the nuts?”

—Molson