Girl 1: My religious studies class only has the Bible as a required text.
Girl 2: Like the Bible bible?
Girl 1: Yeah. Like Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Oedipus…

-McConnell

Girl: How can you have sexual thoughts about Jesus!?!?!

-Aylmer & St. Catherine

Guy 1: Did you know that Jesus studied with the Buddha?
Guy 2: How is that even possible? Buddha is from the Year Minus 5000, and Jesus was from like, Year 0.
– New Rez Cafeteria

Girl: Oh, Yom Kippur. I like it better than the other ones ’cause it sounds like Yogi Bear!

-Bronfman Lobby

Girl 1: What, exactly, does Muslim mean?
Girl 2: I think it’s, like, a type of Islam or something.

-Stewart Bio

Girl 1: Let’s make a shrine
Girl 2: Of what?
Girl 3: Your mom.
- RVC

Birthright rep: Excuse me, are you Jewish?
Gentile: No, I’m not, sorry. But Shabbot Shalom, eh?
- Leacock Lobby

Guy: …so if you win, you get a free trip to Chicago, and if you win in Chicago, you get a free trip to Israel.
Girl: GOD!!! You Jews and your free trips. I need to invest myself in a religion so I can go traveling too!
- McTavish

(Ed. Note: This is the first time someone has ever submitted a quote that overheard me (I’m ‘Guy’))

Prof: Now, I don’t want to alarm you, but what I am really trying to say here is if you like sex… watch out.
- BIOC 212

Girl1: So now I’m wondering if I’m pregnant, or just getting fat…
Girl2: Oh my god, I hope you’re pregnant, at least then you can get an abortion!
- BMH