Girl 1: Hey do you want to revise for chem tomorrow?
Girl 2: I can’t, I’m going to the procastination workshop at 2.

-Leacock

Professor: I might make the exam tonight, but American Idol is on.

-Adams Auditorium

Ed. Note: Possible songs that could be sang on “Cardiovascular System Night” on American Idol: 1) Shot Through the Heart, Bon Jovi 2) Un-Break My Heart, Toni Braxton 3) A Rush of Blood to the Head, Coldplay.

More suggestions are welcome. Extra points if you think Tatiana Del Toro would sing it well.

Guy: I am really into this Green Fashion Show and all, but sometimes I just wish there was global warming.
Girl: Seriously…

-Milton Gates

Professor: My computer always crashes. I have a dual core. Not sure where the other one is; I paid for two, though.

-Leacock auditorium, CHEM 212

[Guy talking to a girl about his MCAT study books]

Girl: You shouldn’t be worried about getting into med school. You should be, like, worried about getting alcohol poisoning over the weekend.
-BIO 111 LAB

Girl 1: I think I have food poisoning.
Girl 2: Yeah, it’s going around. I had it the other day, so did my friend. It must be something in the air.
- Schulich 5

International student: I got in a car accident on my way to the airport.
Oblivious science student: OMG that’s crazy, I just don’t know how anyone manages to drive in Africa with no roads.
- Burnside Basement

Student: You know, in the circular vascatory system…wait…don’t overheard that!
-Ghetto

Prof: There are typically three signs that indicate a child may be at risk for developing pyschotic tendencies. What are they?
Student: Pyromania, mutilating or killing animals, and early sexual tendencies.
Prof: That’s right. Now if you’re a parent and your kid is having sex with flaming animals, I would get that checked out.
- McConnell 13

Prof: Now, I don’t want to alarm you, but what I am really trying to say here is if you like sex… watch out.
- BIOC 212