Girl: Are we McGillers…or McGillians? McGillians makes sense, right? William Shatner was the star of Gilligan’s Island.

–Leacock

Guy: (to girl) “So i was leaning over and he was just pounding away.”
Another guy walks up: “So dude, you’re gay? I mean it sounds like anal is your thing.”
Girl: “You’re sick! He was leaning over the railing handing his brother a nail while his brother hammered a board in place!”

—Shatner

(Walking by clubs offices)
Guy 1: (Gives the finger to a closed office door) “Yeah fuck you.”
Guy 2: (reads sign on door) “Uh…that wasn’t cool, what was that for?”
Guy 1: “Just jealous of people with offices and we don’t.”
Guy 2: “Oh ok…cause I thought you had something against the National Society of Black Engineers.”

—Shatner, Fourth Floor

White Girl: I don’t know why I don’t like dark-skinned people…
White Guy: Maybe because you’re a racist?
White Girl (annoyed): NO. I just don’t like them.
—Shatner Lounge

(3 girls chatting on the blue couches; kinda-feminist girl has to sell tickets to the Vagina Monologues)
kinda-feminist girl: You guys should come see the Vagina Monologues.
other girl: Mmmm, I think it’s too feminist for me.
kinda-feminist girl: (slightly sarcastic) Oh OK then why don’t you just go have children and live in your kitchen?
other girl: Haha. Well, still I might walk out of the play feeling like I don’t have to shave my legs anymore.

—Shatner lounge

Guy: Are you Irish?
Girl: Yes, how’d you know?
Guy: You’re wearing a green sweater…

—Shatner

Guy: We’re taking it back, I’m putting the rape back in diplomatic relations.

—SSMU Lounge

(Guy and girl come out of a club office)
Guy: So, are we good now?
Girl: I don’t know . . . you really hurt me.
Guy: Babe, come on, it’s like 8 inches.  It’s gotta hurt a little.
Girl:[disgusted stare]

—4th Floor, Shatner 

girl: I just can’t stop kissing you…did you hear me? I just said I can’t stop kissing you!
guy: ya, ya… Im looking at facebook pictures…can we talk later?

—SSMU Lounge 

[at SSUNS, the McGill Model UN Conference]
Male Staff: “Whoa! That’s so weird! I never knew that NGO stood for Non-Governmental Organization! I guess that makes sense though.”
Female Staff: “And this is your… third year of SSUNS?”
Male Staff: “Second.”