Guy on the phone, in a serious tone: No, I totally understand you. This is serious, this is war. This is modern fucking war. You know what, we just have to put bacon bits everywhere.

-University and Milton

Prof: During the American occupation, American individuals who rewrote the Japanese Constitution made it anticonstitutional for Japan to have a standing army anywhere outside of Japan.
Girl 1: But then, how come Pearl Harbour happened??!

-Econ 335

A slide with a picture of Robert Mugabe is shown.

Guest lecturer: You guys have seen that t-shirt that says “Guns don’t kill people, mustaches kill people”. Yeah, that’s pretty much it. So many bad people throughout history have had horrible mustaches! Hitler, Stalin, Mugabe… all had mustaches!

Class laughs.

Guest lecturer: No, really, mustache aside, he really is a murderer and a bad person.

-POLI 324

Guy: You do realize what you just did, right? You tied a Holocaust paper to Pokemon.
- RVC

Girl: Last night, Bush said that 5,000 soldiers would be sent home from Iraq by the end of the year.
Guy: Alive?
- arts lounge

Prof: “… if we eliminate testosterone, we can eliminate war. And I’m quite certain this quote will show up on Overheard at Mcgill in about five minutes considering how many computers they have here.”

—POLI 244

Prof: Saddam was so powerful, he was like…God!…Wait…I don’t mean to compare Saddam to God, because you know, God is merciful.”
- Burnside

Screaming Drunk Guy: GET IN THE HOLE!!
– Outside Molson at 2:30 am on a Wednesday morning

Prof: Quiet please, or otherwise you’ll never know how to launch a military coup, and you’ll make a mess of it, and you’ll DIE. 
- Poli 227 class on The Military in Politics

Guy, to girl: Oakville’s really fashionable these days. It’s like the landmine of Ontario.
Girl: What?
Guy: Not that. You know what I mean…
[seconds pass]
Guy: Goldmine. The goldmine.

—rue Union, across the street from Metro