Guy: If God had a vagina it would probably taste pretty good.
–BMH

Guy: “I’m so tired.”
Girl: “I’m so wet.”

Guy: I’ve decided to quit smoking marijuana so I’m gonna go on the nicotine patch.

-Redpath basement

Prof: They say that horses came from Poseidon spilling semen on a rock.
Guy: Why do Greek gods spill semen so much?

-FDA Auditorium

Prof: Rum makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside…makes me feel like dancing. Champagne makes me giddy, like a little girl.
-Leacock 26

Girl 1: Did you hear about the UFO some doctor saw this morning?
Girl 2: No… what’s UFO?
Girl 1: you know… like E.T.

- Leacock

“I don’t mind walking into a Dep and speaking to them first in french but you know there are some times where I’m just tired, there are some days where I’m just too hungover that french just does not come out of my mouth …it just does not!” – Arts Lounge

Guy: “Are the Northwest Territories on the West Coast? I never knew… (ponders)”

-Leacock Hallway

Guy 1: “Anybody knows Ben Harper?”
Guy 2:”Oh yeah, he’s like the Prime Minister of Canada or something…”