Guy: You’ll never guess what I did all summer. I got to play with sperm!

- Duff Building

*walking past a bunch of froshies in front of a club*
Girl : If I could kill you all with my mind … I would.
Boy : If I could make you attractive with my mind…I would.

-St. Laurent

Girl 1: I hate him! He’s always smoking and getting high and bringing girls home and shit.
Girl 2: Well, older brothers are like that.
Girl 1: No, no, he’s 13.

-Roddick Gates

Guy (Picking Up Girl): Do you know the language of love? English?
-Cafe Campus

Girl 1: You are definitely sluttier than I am.
Girl 2: No way. You are!
Girl 1: You are sleeping with two guys.
Girl 2: You sleep with guys and don’t call them back…EVER.
Girl 1: Is that slutty?
- Cybertheque

Girl: All these sexual drinks…blowjob…orgasm…slippery nipple…they should have a drink called the Yeast Infection…….and the chaser would be Canesten…
- Peel Pub

White guy number 1: Yea, so i got gonorrhea.
White guy number 2: What, you got gonorrhea?
White guy number 1: Yea, but it’s no big deal, everyone gets it.
White guy number 2: I’ve never gotten it.
White guy number 1: Actually neither have I, but all my friends have. They just took 3 pills and it was done.
White guy number 2: I can’t take pills, it’s against my religion.
White guy number 1: what religion is that?
White guy number 2: Rastafari!
- Biftek, St-Laurent

(Its a incredibly cold outside, 2 guys in winter jackets are in line for a bar. A bit down the street are around 4 gay guys in incredibly tight pink short sleeve t-shirts in a different line.)
Guy 1: Man look!
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: I’m freezing and I’m in wearing a damn winter coat. What the fuck is wrong with those guys?
Guy 2: Obviously its cause their gay.
Guy 1: Ohhh…
- St. Laurent

In the bathroom at St. Sulpice, two girls are looking at themselves in the mirror.
Girl 1: Do I look okay?
Girl 2: Yeah, you look cute.
Girl 1: Cute like you want to sleep with me?
—St. Sulpice

Puck Bunny in Denial: Just because the last 3 guys I’ve had sex with were hockey players doesn’t make me a puck bunny!

—Champs on St Laurent