Girl 1: Hey, your bag is open.
Girl 2: It’s always open, just like my legs.

- Leacock

Guy: How did you find your sources?

Girl: I sucked Wikipedia’s dick.

-New Rez Caf

Guy: Dude, of course she’s going to go down all the way. She’s an engineer.

- Leacock

Girl 1: Can you be gay if you’ve never had sex with anyone?
Girl 2: I don’t know…do you feel gay when you masturbate?

–Shatner

Girl: “It feels like my inner thighs are making love to each other”

- McConnell cafeteria

Girl: I wish I could do physics as well as I can do guys.

-Laird Hall

Guy 1: With so much plastic surgery these days, it’s so hard to tell how old a person is by just looking at them.
Guy 2: If you really wanna know, just look at a person’s hands. You can tell by age spots and wrinkles.
Girl: Not me! When I get older I’m gonna get a hand job!

-New Rez

Girl 1: I’m not a fan of the cock.
Girl 2: …..excuse me?
Girl 1: You know. The Cock. Cockiness. In guys?
Girl 2: *stares in awe*

- Adams Auditorium

Prof: The most common way to experience the feeling of ecstasy is through orgasm… Have you all had orgasms? I hope so… That’s your homework tonight. Everyone needs to go home and have an orgasm.

-Arts Legacy

Girl: It’s like the Rogers people put an electric buzzer up your vagina and it goes off every time you try to call customer service!

- Lower field