Girl 1: Shit, I don’t know what to order! The whole menu is in French!

Girl 2: Uh, no. Duh, it’s in Spanish. French doesn’t use the letter “m.”

-St. Laurent

Girl: It’s really hard being anglophone…

-Lower Field

A guy sits down with a girl, takes out a cigarette and starts trying to light it. He has some extreme difficulty getting it lit, and has obviously never smoked before.

Girl (laughing): Hey, do you want some help with that?
Guy: No, no, I’ve got to practice smoking. Let me do it.
Girl: Seriously? You’re practicing how to smoke?
Guy: Yeah! It’s on my list of things to do. See? (takes out agenda) “Laundry, conference sign-up, smoke.”
Girl looks stunned.
Guy: I don’t want to look like an idiot when I go to Amsterdam!

-in front of Macdonald Harrington building

Girl 1: There isn’t much gang violence in Montreal, or at least you don’t hear about it.
Girl 2: That’s only because it’s all in French.
- RVC dorm

Prof: If you show patients with right parietal cortex damage a map of Canada and ask them to point to Quebec, they will point to the middle of the Atlantic…which is where Quebec should really be.
- ANAT321 Circuitry of the Brain

Girl: Oh God, I thought that girl had a speech impediment, but she’s actually just speaking French…
- Milton Gates

Quebecois Boy walks up to French Girl and tries to impress her.
Quebecois Boy: *says something in French*
French Girl: I can’t understand a word you’re saying with that accent.

—New Rez caf

Girl: Wait, you take french?
Guy: Yeah
Girl: But you have a french last name.
- Molson

Girl #1:  So do we have to buy the expensive book, or can we just get the cheap
one?
TA:  Well, if you think you’ll be continuing in genetics you should get the
expensive one.  But if you’re just tourists, you can get away with the cheap
one.
Girl #2:  We’re not tourists.  We’re FROM Montreal!”

– Bio 370 Tutorial

(the crowd is chanting Olé Olé Olééé)

Young child: Daddy, what are they singing?
Anglophone father: Oh, don’t worry; it’s probably a French thing

—at the Bell Centre