Prof: I havn’t felt particularly horny lately, actually.

-Arts Legacy

*Drunk girl cracks open a beer*

Sober girl: I don’t think that’s a good idea.
Drunk girl: I’m fine! Ask me anything!
Sober girl: Ok. What does Serotonin do?
Drunk girl: Sero-tonin?
Sober girl: See, you’re drunk!
Drunk girl: But…Sarah Tonin! I don’t know who she is!

-New Rez

(discussing Rez Council elections)
Girl: I’d totally be his VP Internal.

- Lower Campus

Drunk girl: YOU smell like peppermint schnapps, too!
Sober girl: Actually, that’s my toothpaste…

–Durocher

Boy: I just got an interview with a law firm.
Girl: You want to be a lawyer?
Boy: No, I want to be a paralegal.
Girl: But… you can walk…

- Ghetto

Girl 1: Your hair looks really good today!
Girl 2: Thanks! I had a lot of sex last night.

-Campus

Girl: Yeah, I saw a lot of penises this weekend.

–Trottier

(At Metro Grocery Store. New Rez Girl surveys her shopping cart.)

New Rez Girl: You know, this is gonna be SO expen.

–Metro

(talking about a professor)

Girl: He’s so hot, with that white shirt he always wears.

Guy: Actually last week he was wearing this….burlesque-like sweater!

Girl: … you mean burlap?

–Leacock

Three girls are talking in an elevator about their engineering courses.

Other Girl: Wait, you three are in Engineering? But you’re all hot!

-Schulich Library