Girl: I’m SICK of global warming! The sun keeps going down earlier and earlier!!!

-Upper Rez

We will see ya next year. I mean, if you’re, like, into that…or whatever…

Guy: I am really into this Green Fashion Show and all, but sometimes I just wish there was global warming.
Girl: Seriously…

-Milton Gates

Guy:…and that’s how I got Herpes in both my eyes.

-University and Milton

A slide with a picture of Robert Mugabe is shown.

Guest lecturer: You guys have seen that t-shirt that says “Guns don’t kill people, mustaches kill people”. Yeah, that’s pretty much it. So many bad people throughout history have had horrible mustaches! Hitler, Stalin, Mugabe… all had mustaches!

Class laughs.

Guest lecturer: No, really, mustache aside, he really is a murderer and a bad person.

-POLI 324

“The Brown Student Services Building??.. What? Where do the white people go?”

-McTavish Gates

Discussing the play, “The Wild Duck” by Henrik Ibsen.
Guy: So, how are they scaling grades in this class, anyway?
Girl: Well, everyone kinds starts out with a B- and then they see what your essay is like. If you’re the one who wrote on your test ‘Gregors is a raccoon’ then you’re towards the bottom and everyone who didn’t say ‘Gregors is a raccoon’ does better than you.
Boy: Man, I gotta read this book.
- ENGL 314

Guy 1: “You know what’s really hot?”
Guy 2: “What?”
Guy 1: “Sniffing a sexy chick’s underwear”
Guy 2: “Yeah man.”
Guy 1: “So you do it too? I do it after sex when she leaves the room?”
Guy 2: “Yeah. Me too. But usually, it’s my mom’s underwear so my girlfriend doesn’t get weirded out.”

—before class

(Girls are parting before Girl 1 walks into Brutopia)
Girl 1: Good night! (hugs)
Girl 2: Good night! Don’t hook up with any creepy guys, and NO LINGUISTS!
Girl 3: Yeah, no fucking linguists. Unless they’re hot.
Girl 2: No! Not even then! No linguists!

—outside of Brutopia

A mother meeting her daughter on the street.
Daughter: Hey you didn’t pick up my call earlier.
Mother: Sorry, I couldn’t make it to the phone on time just like your father couldn’t make it to the toilet on time.
Daughter: What do you mean mom?
Mother: Lunch didn’t go down well. There was explosive diarrhea in the car.
Girl: Oh my god!
Bystander: That’s disgusting.
- Sherbrooke and University