Guy #1: So how are you going to get citizenship in both England and Canada?
Guy #2: I told you, I’m getting dual citizenship. It’s pretty normal.
Guy #1: OHHH. I thought you said jewel citizenship, like some weird British thing.

-Schulich Library

Librarian: You do not have to cite general knowledge facts that everyone knows, such as that terrorists bombed the Twin Towers on September 11, 2000.

-Leacock 132

Librarian: “Just start milking the bibliographic cow.”

-HIST 396

Freshman Girl: Excuse me, where did you get that Tim Hortons cup?

Confused Older Student: Uhh… Tim Hortons?

-Schulich

Guy approaches a friend using the self-checkout in McLennan

Guy 1: What is this thing?
Friend: It’s how you check out books from the library.
Guy 1 (proudly): Oh, well I’ve managed to get through my entire undergrad without ever using the library!

-McLennan Library

Girl: In a dream, I gave birth to three ants, and then I smashed them.
Boy: You have ants in your pants!
- McLennan Library

Girl: Are you doing 4/20?
Guy: No, I’m not taking any 400 level classes.
- Cybertheque

Girl 1: Oh my god my roommate hates the library. She says it’s too crowded in Mcclennan and that our apartment is too dirty to study in.
Girl 2: Well is she just not studying?
Girl 1: No of course not! She rented a hotel room at the Ritz for the weekend!
- Redpath cafeteria

Girl 1: I think I have food poisoning.
Girl 2: Yeah, it’s going around. I had it the other day, so did my friend. It must be something in the air.
- Schulich 5

Nerd: (talking about the bioc311 midterm) well if i were an Allosteric Activator i would chose to be AMP, so i could up-regulate the whole glycolysis system and give myself a boost of energy so i could study more.
Girl: im going to upregulate my foot up your ass if you dont stop making those kind of comments… dude, you need to get out more.
- McMed Librairy