Girl: I wish I could do physics as well as I can do guys.

-Laird Hall

(discussing upcoming exam)

Student: As long as we’re giving relevant responses – it’s 4/20; go get high.
Prof: Best. Thread. Ever.

-WebCT

Girl talking with her friend

Girl: I can’t even flirt my way to a B+ on this test.

–Leacock

Girl 1: What did you think of the midterm?
Girl 2: It wasn’t easy but it wasn’t hard either, you know what I mean?
Girl 3: Yea totally!
Girl 2:I mean I didn’t even study and I got 40%!

- Campus

Student: Are we only allowed to use pen, or can we use pencil?
Professor: Pen is preferable, but if you run out, pencil is better than writing in blood.
- Anth 204 Final, the Gym

Girl 1: I’m studying for my history exam.
Girl 2: Yea.
Girl 1: And the primary sources just aren’t helping–it’s like reading a story. And I have to Wikipedia every second word.
Girl 2: And the dates.
Girl 1: YEA.

Girl 1: Ugh, I just got raped by another final.
Girl 2: Seems all you talk about these days is getting sodomized by exams.
Girl 1: Why do you always assume it’s anal?
—Roddick Gates

Guy (yelling): Why the FUCK don’t they have the Da Vinci Code here?!

—Redpath Reserves (the day before exams start)

Girl (on cellphone): My life totally sucks right now. I went to an intellectual conference and people were saying smart things and I was asking myself ‘Why can’t I say things like that?’ And I’ve forgotten all essay-writing skills I learned in high school. Ugh, I am like totally ESL right now. Like, what am I doing with my life? I’m not getting into law school, I’m not going to get a position at the UN…. UGH!! I might as well get married to a rich Arabian prince!
- Elevator, apt. on du Parc

Girl1: My exams raped me so hard.
Girl 2: Omigod, my exams raped me harder than the McGill football team.
Stranger: Are you serious!?
Girl 2: Yeah our football team has, like, the worst rep.
- Train, over winter break