(Guy and Girl riding in a elevator)
Girl: I said “groups”, NOT boobs. God.
Guy: Oh. (Pause) Sorry, I see boobs everywhere; everything is boobs to me. (Points to the elevator buttons.) Look at these – nipples arranged in a particular pattern.

–Schulich

Two girls in a New Rez elevator; one is crying:

Girl #1: Are you OK? You should lie down. It feels better to cry in your own bed.
Girl #2: (Sobbing) No, I won’t be able to sleep tonight…
Girl #1: OK. Well, do you want me to start up “The Sims”?
Girl #2: …yeah.

–New Rez

Three girls are talking in an elevator about their engineering courses.

Other Girl: Wait, you three are in Engineering? But you’re all hot!

-Schulich Library

Girl (on cellphone): My life totally sucks right now. I went to an intellectual conference and people were saying smart things and I was asking myself ‘Why can’t I say things like that?’ And I’ve forgotten all essay-writing skills I learned in high school. Ugh, I am like totally ESL right now. Like, what am I doing with my life? I’m not getting into law school, I’m not going to get a position at the UN…. UGH!! I might as well get married to a rich Arabian prince!
- Elevator, apt. on du Parc

Girl 1:And my boyfriend told me what a bad person I was, and I was like, ‘don’t say that to me, you’re hurting my feelings.’ Then I did drugs and cried all day
Girl 2: Wow, well we should really study today
Girl 1: Yeah, lets stay really late, like till 10.
Girl 2: (totally serious) Yeah, or we can go to the biosphere and get burgers
Girl 1: (totally serious) Yeah

—Leacock elevator

Guy: What’s 14+9?
Girl: 21. (looks satisfied with her quick and “correct” answer)
Guy: Damn, you’re fast.
Girl: Haha, you thought you almost had me there.

—New Rez elevator

Guy: A thousand Jews on a thousand type-writers couldn’t write the the stuff that’s on Overheardatmcgill!

—Burnside elevator

“It’s in the Caribbean! Get a geography book! (pause) Also known as an atlas. (pause) Maybe I need to get myself an English book.”

—Leacock elevator

(in an elevator)
Girl: “Wearing your hat backwards doesn’t make you cool.”
Guy: “Um… ok, just like wearing a push-up bra doesn’t make you hot.”
(Girl exits elevator with a disgusted look on her face)

—Leacock