Girl 1: So like, when did he start getting so much ass? Is he even that attractive?
Girl 2: No! I think he just started getting ass when he started his blog.
- McGill Gym

Girl 1: I really like when windows are look-through resistant.
Girl 2: You mean tinted?
-Durocher & Prince Arthur

Guy: Yo, I wanna tell a story about my girlfriend who I met on WebCT.

-Burnside

(Prof is discussing how the world is “getting smaller” due to technology)

Girl 1: Wait, why is the world getting smaller?
Girl 2: I don’t know; Global Warming or something…

-Leacock

Guy approaches a friend using the self-checkout in McLennan

Guy 1: What is this thing?
Friend: It’s how you check out books from the library.
Guy 1 (proudly): Oh, well I’ve managed to get through my entire undergrad without ever using the library!

-McLennan Library

Professor: My computer always crashes. I have a dual core. Not sure where the other one is; I paid for two, though.

-Leacock auditorium, CHEM 212

Guy: If you’re crap at SML, then I’m period blood at SML.

-Trottier

(Discussing a vague assignment)
Comp 206 teacher: You know, in the real world, your assignments won’t be much more clear
Girl: Well…this is NOT the real world!
- COMP 206 class

Guy: I’ll go check his Facebook to look for his Myspace.
(finds his Myspace)
Guy: You’ve made it too easy, Sir! You’re going to get raped!
- AUS lounge

Guy 1: Man that was sooo gay.
Guy 2: Ya man, that was so gay that I need to go home to watch porn to reaffirm my heterosexuality.
– Sherbrooke and University