Professor: The Quiet Revolution was like a giant affirmative action program for French people.
Class: Stunned silence

—POLI 326 (Provincial Politics)

Prof: When you actually think about it, French-Canadian Nationalism is a whole lot like National Socialism.
Shocked Class: …..
(N.B. National Socialism was the name of the Nazi Party)

—Canadian Nationalism Class

Prententious Student: Can we write the exam half in English, and half in French?
TA:…Why would you want to do that?

[Preppy girl walking up to a hipster guy]
Girl: Ou est le Plateau? The Plateau? Where is it?

–Corner of Parc and Mont Royal