(Prof, trying to get a student to summarize a reading)
Prof: Come on…nobody? It was like a one page pdf.
(Class Silent)
Prof: You could have sat down on the toilet, downloaded it on a wireless and read it before you were even finished!
(Class laughs awkwardly)
Prof: And you wouldnt have had to pay a urine tax!—Hist 375: Early Roman Empire

Girl 1:…so then they made us watch this whole movie on Hellen Keller’s life and—
Girl 2: wait wait…Hellen Keller, who is that? I know that name. Doesn’t she live in upper rez or something?

—New Rez caf

Girl 1: I can’t believe I ever liked him! He’s such a creep!
Girl 2: Oh, I know! He’s scum! Totally vile! Like… vermin!
Girl 1: Whaaaaaaaat! You can’t say that!!!
Girl 2: Why?
Girl 1: But what about Hitler!
Girl 2: Ummm yeah, what about him?
Girl 1: Well, THAT’S WHAT HE CALLED THE JEWS! VERMIN!
Girl 2: Whatever, ****** is Catholic anyway! Besides, it’s not like I’m planning a Holocaust for one!
- Architecture Library

Guy 1: Did you know that Hitler’s last surviving offspring have agreed not to have any children, so that his legacy won’t live on?
Guy 2: Well! That makes sense! I mean, could you imagine being… Fuck. What was Hitler’s last name?
-Redpath Cafeteria (X-Mas Exam Season)

Girl #1: Wasn’t World War I the war with all the countries and World War II the
war against the Jews??
Girl #2:Ummmm… No!!
Girl #1: Oh right, that was pearl harbor!

- New Rez