Prof: During the American occupation, American individuals who rewrote the Japanese Constitution made it anticonstitutional for Japan to have a standing army anywhere outside of Japan.
Girl 1: But then, how come Pearl Harbour happened??!

-Econ 335

Guy: Yo, I wanna tell a story about my girlfriend who I met on WebCT.

-Burnside

(Prof is discussing how the world is “getting smaller” due to technology)

Girl 1: Wait, why is the world getting smaller?
Girl 2: I don’t know; Global Warming or something…

-Leacock

Girl: (asks forcefully) What about the rights of the mother?

Guy: Easy there, feminist…

-Leacock

Girl 1: The only thing keeping me in university is fear of what other people would think if I dropped out.

Girl 2: Yeah, if it weren’t for society, I would totally just go to Mexico and be a prostitute.

-Second Cup

(Guys in a group)

Guy: So that settles it…women don’t always lactate.

-Trottier