Girl 1: Your hair looks really good today!
Girl 2: Thanks! I had a lot of sex last night.

-Campus

Girl: NO! It’s salad dressing, NOT semen!!

-Molson Hall

Girl: If I came back and my egg was gone, I would punch the crap out of my penguin husband.

-Outside Otto Maass

Professor: I might make the exam tonight, but American Idol is on.

-Adams Auditorium

Ed. Note: Possible songs that could be sang on “Cardiovascular System Night” on American Idol: 1) Shot Through the Heart, Bon Jovi 2) Un-Break My Heart, Toni Braxton 3) A Rush of Blood to the Head, Coldplay.

More suggestions are welcome. Extra points if you think Tatiana Del Toro would sing it well.