Girl: “It feels like my inner thighs are making love to each other”

- McConnell cafeteria

Girl: So I’m doing my laundry and my bras are all in a big pile, when these two asians walk in. And they were totally like, talking in asian about me. Then stole my dryer.

-New Rez laundry room

Girl: I wish I could do physics as well as I can do guys.

-Laird Hall

Guy: You’ll never guess what I did all summer. I got to play with sperm!

- Duff Building

Guy 1: With so much plastic surgery these days, it’s so hard to tell how old a person is by just looking at them.
Guy 2: If you really wanna know, just look at a person’s hands. You can tell by age spots and wrinkles.
Girl: Not me! When I get older I’m gonna get a hand job!

-New Rez

Girl: How can you have sexual thoughts about Jesus!?!?!

-Aylmer & St. Catherine