Girl: I used to dress really “New York”, but I stopped because I started waking up hung-over all the time: less time to pick out outfits.

—Douglas Hall Pre-drink

“Why the FUCK would you ever date a deaf guy?”

—Douglas

(moans and groans behind locked room door, a line of guys are waiting outside to deliver high-fives)

(Door opens)
Guy leaving room: “What, we were on msn!”

—Douglas Hall

Concerned Friend: You should take it easy drinking.
Drunk Girl: I am easy!!!

—-Douglas

Girl 1: What’s your bio conference topic?
Guy: I’m doing inbreeding!
Girl 2: What’s that?
Girl 2 flashes girl 1 a bewildered stare.
Girl 2: Sex?
Girl 1: Incest…
Girl 2(disgusted): with animals?!

—Douglas Caf

Girl: You’ll always be my VP External!
(Handsome) Boy: Thanks baby, I can be your VP Internal if you want me to be
Girl: EWW!
- Douglas 

Ignorant science student: “So, what do, like, ARTS professors do?”
—Doug caf

First Time Stoner Girl: Touch my hand!
Passing Guy: …uh…ok?
First Time Stoner Girl:: It’s….it’s…it’s evaporating!  I swear!
–Douglas Hall

“If I was pregnant, he would have fucked my babies” -

Douglas Hall