Slightly overweight girl: Fuck the freshman 15. I mean, I’m supposed to make fun of fat people, not be one!

—

(Two girls placing an order for food online)
Girl 1: What’s the postal code here?
Girl 2: um….I don’t know. I think it’s K3A something
Girl 1: Oh you mean H3A?
Girl 2: No, K ’cause we’re in Canada
Girl 1: …. for real?
Girl 2: yeah….is that not right?
Girl 1: oh my god.

—McConnell Residence

Girl 1: Ew, this sushi is like jizz, here eat some so I’m not the only one.
Girl 2: No.
Girl 1: Come on, put it in your mouth. Just taste it. Just a little bit. I don’t want to be the only one.

—Odaki Sushi