Girl 1: Eating someone’s brains after they die is thoughtful?!
Girl 2: So they can live on through you!
Girl 3: Through what, your shit?!

- McTavish

Girl 1: Oh my god. Like, there aren’t enough veggie choices in the caf. I think I’m just going to get pizza again.
Girl 2: OH, SO YOU’RE ONE OF THOSE VEGETARIANS!
Girl 1 looks confused
Girl 2: You don’t eat chicken but you’ll eat tomato sauce!
Girl 1 stares in confusion and awe

-New Rez

Bro 1: If you just eat a whole chicken for breakfast, is that enough protein for the day?
Bro 2: No man, you don’t get protein from chicken, you get it from protein shakes…dumbass.

-New Rez

Girl: Oh, Yom Kippur. I like it better than the other ones ’cause it sounds like Yogi Bear!

-Bronfman Lobby

Guy #1: Pineapple is the best fruit on earth. If I had to choose between eating pineapple and having sex, I would definitely choose pineapple.
Guy #2: No…I would choose sex.

-Burnside Hall, Geo Lounge.

Waiter: How would you like your eggs?
Guy #1: Easy-over please.
Guy #2: It’s over-easy, dude.
Girl: Yeah, he’s right.
Guy #1: Oh whatever.. hold my dick.
(pause)
Guy #1: Or wait.. dick my hold.

-Chez Cora

Girl 1: I think I have food poisoning.
Girl 2: Yeah, it’s going around. I had it the other day, so did my friend. It must be something in the air.
- Schulich 5

Ditsy girl: Yeah, there are so many terms I was unaware of, like I didn’t even know what love handles were until this year.
Ditsy girl’s friend: You mean until you got them?
- Douglas Cafeteria

Drunk Girl: Well, I thought she could have gotten WAY more steaks for that blowjob but nooooo. She had to go up the hill to see some kids and fuck if I was giving her my last cigarette.

- Sherbrooke and St-Urbain

Girl talking to her friends
Girl: I ate cat food last night. I probably shouldn’t have said that.
– Prince Aurthur