Bro 1: If you just eat a whole chicken for breakfast, is that enough protein for the day?
Bro 2: No man, you don’t get protein from chicken, you get it from protein shakes…dumbass.

-New Rez

Guy: I’m from Beaconsfield, it’s on the island of Montreal.
Girl: Where is the island of Montreal?

-New Rez

Girl 1: Where are you from?
Girl 2: Regina.
Girl 1: Ha, yah, we all came from vagina
Girl 3: Actually, I was born from a C-Section
- New Rez

Girl: No, but seriously though, I can’t even do coke this year because my new nose is really delicate.
-New Rez

Girl: Would you have sex with your mom for a million dollars?
Boy: I’d have sex with my mom just to get laid.
- New Rez Cafe

Girl 1: Ron Paul? Isn’t he a porn star?
Girl 2: Nope, that’s Ron Jeremy.
- Outside of New Rez

Guy: You know, with long hair, when you see a homeless person you feel like you can really relate to them. You Know? It’s like saying ‘I can relate. I can feel you, I’m on your side.’
- New Rez

New rez girl 1: Oh my god, it’s sooo cold
New rez girl 2: Can we drink here? where’s the bar?
New rez girl 3: So yeah, do you guys want me to call a cab to go back to New Rez?
- chez cora, on new years day (chez cora is 300 meters from New Rez)

Girl 1: Ya, we should totally get walkie-talkies… then we can all learn Heimlich!
Girl 2: Morse code?
Girl 1: Morse code!
- New Rez caf

[Two New Rez girls discussing the mysteries of the body over pizza and sprite]
Girl 1: Oh my gawd, I need to stop eating like tomorrow. I have already gained 27 and a half pounds since September…I’m so gross…*stares at pizza in sadness and desire*
Girls 2: You TOTALLY have NOT. And either way, aren’t you on the pill now? It’s probably just water weight.
Girl 1: Yeah…that’s true, I’ve definitely been drinking A LOT more water lately, it must make you thirsty.
Girl 2: What? *bewildered look on face*
Girl 1: *bites into pizza with accomplished look on face*
- New Rez Cafeteria