*Drunk girl cracks open a beer*

Sober girl: I don’t think that’s a good idea.
Drunk girl: I’m fine! Ask me anything!
Sober girl: Ok. What does Serotonin do?
Drunk girl: Sero-tonin?
Sober girl: See, you’re drunk!
Drunk girl: But…Sarah Tonin! I don’t know who she is!

-New Rez

Guy: How did you find your sources?

Girl: I sucked Wikipedia’s dick.

-New Rez Caf

Guy: Dude, of course she’s going to go down all the way. She’s an engineer.

- Leacock

H.S. Girl: So, how do I know if I should go to graduate studies or undergraduate studies?
Tour Guide: You have to do an undergraduate degree before going on to graduate studies.
H.S. Girl: Okay, so how do I find out if I’ve done one?

–McGill Campus Tour

Guy 1 : Dude, where is the Pacific Ocean?
Guy 2: Seriously? Like, the biggest ocean in the world?
Guy 1: Yeah, I guess.

-Leacock

Girl 1: Can you be gay if you’ve never had sex with anyone?
Girl 2: I don’t know…do you feel gay when you masturbate?

–Shatner

Girl 1: My religious studies class only has the Bible as a required text.
Girl 2: Like the Bible bible?
Girl 1: Yeah. Like Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Oedipus…

-McConnell

Girl (to Cashier): How much data can a 4GB USB fit?

-McGill Bookstore

Girl: My vagina is ripe! I gotta use eight tampons at night and two overnight pads, at once, when I sleep.

-Burnside Bathroom

Girl: (discussing Inglourious Basterds) Didn’t any, like, historians or whatever, look at it before it was released? I’m pretty sure that’s not what happened.
-New Rez