Professor: My computer always crashes. I have a dual core. Not sure where the other one is; I paid for two, though.

-Leacock auditorium, CHEM 212

Girl: Don’t have sex on the couch!
Guy: Why not? You can have sex on the couch, I don’t mind.
Girl: Mhh, you wouldn’t like that. I’m a fountain.

-Aylmer

Three girls are talking in an elevator about their engineering courses.

Other Girl: Wait, you three are in Engineering? But you’re all hot!

-Schulich Library

Girl: When is your birthday?
Guy: June.
Girl: This June?

-Milton and Parc

A group of guys were talking while walking to class

Guy: “So on one side there was a pussy, and on the other side it had a grizzly bear standing up.”

- McGill Ghetto

Guy: If you’re crap at SML, then I’m period blood at SML.

-Trottier

Professor: The age of consent varies with age and level of authority, so a professor cannot legally have sex with a student who is 17… So, please take out your driver’s licenses.

-Jewish Studies Building

“I got really drunk and woke up in a corn field in Minnesota.”

-the benches by Leacock

Girl: Man, I was so upset when I got my period this morning! I was looking forward to having a month off and just getting an abortion in a couple of weeks. Seriously, sometimes life just isn’t fair.

-Molson Hall

“The Brown Student Services Building??.. What? Where do the white people go?”

-McTavish Gates