Professor: “We have recently seen a resurgence of capitalism in the U.S.”
(pauses)
Professor: “Oops, i mean a resurgence of capital punishment. You have to forgive me, I had a long night yesterday. I had to tend to certain vices…”
Professor: (sticks out tongue) “Certain good vices.”
(Class erupts in laughter)
Professor: (blushing) Oh god, I’ve already said too much.

—POLI 345 (International Organizations)

(Ed Note: This is a combination of two similar submissions of the same quote)