Girl 1: So why did you dump him?
Girl 2: Because, he was like, REALLY creepy!
Girl 1: What? Oh my god! How? He was perfect?
Girl 2: Ya, but he said he fantasized about eating babies.
Girl 1: So what?
Girl 2: …Oh my god! I am SO glad you convinced me to stay with him! You’re right. He’s totally perfect.
Girl 1: So you don’t care about the fact he wants to eat babies?
Girl 2: Well, that way at least if I got pregnant, I like, wouldn’t have to go to the doctor’s office to get rid of it!
Girl 1: Ya, I love saving time.

—On Milton