Girl 1 (very pale): Ya you know, I just moved to Montreal, I’m from Bermuda.
Girl 2 (confused): but why aren’t you black?
- Roddick Gates

Girl: Oh my god, I can’t believe how much gum you chew! Is that actually six packs of Orbit in your bag?
Guy: You see, gum for me is like…(pauses to think)…marijuana for you.
Girl: Ohhhhhh

-McLennon Library late at night

(McGill student to her groups of obviously-out-of-town friends)
Girl:…and there’s another contemporary art museum we could check out
Friend: (in snobby voice) yeah, I’m not really down with museums

-tunnel from redpath to arts building

Professor: You’d have to rely on all the books published in Mississippi, which rounded down is zero
- Class

Drunk Girl: Well, I thought she could have gotten WAY more steaks for that blowjob but nooooo. She had to go up the hill to see some kids and fuck if I was giving her my last cigarette.

- Sherbrooke and St-Urbain

Prof: Saddam was so powerful, he was like…God!…Wait…I don’t mean to compare Saddam to God, because you know, God is merciful.”
- Burnside

Guy: I walked in and they were having sex. But I just stood there making gross noises. Hopefully I can just drink this one off.
- Douglas Hall

Guy 1: Man I really want to learn how to ride horses
Guy 2: Oh ya you should talk to Sarah. She jumps horses and stuff.
Guy 1: With what?
Guy 2: What do you mean, ‘with what’?
Guy 1: I mean with like motorcycles or cars or what?
Guy 2: What the fuck?
Guy 1: Man, like how does she clear the horses? Does she jump over them with a motorcycle or what?
- Douglas Hall

ditzy girl: …and then she said that she had a component face!
guy: what??
ditzy girl: You know, like, in science and stuff.
guy: huh?
ditzy girl (getting annoyed): You knowwww…there’s like, little things that swirl around together and make Adam.
guy: You mean Atoms?
ditzy girl: No stupid!! The Garden of Eden.
guy: The Garden of Eden is on your face???
ditzy girl (getting really annoyed): NO idiot! That’s ridiculous. (pauses) It was on HER face.
guy (really confused): What’s your major again?
ditzy girl: Some science thing. I can’t remember
guy: I thought you were taking History?
ditzy girl: Duh!! You are so stupid sometimes. History IS science
guy: (silent)
ditzy girl: I don’t even know why I even bother with you sometimes. How did you get into McGill???
- Outside the McGill bookstore

Guy: Dude, if he was Jesus, he would totally get up and open the door.
– Burnside Basement