[Bunch of mathies laughing/studying in Second Cup. The only girl waits for a break in the conversation]
Math Girl: “Ha, yeah. Yeah well that’s just like something my friend told me once. She said she liked her men like tea. Hot, strong, dark and sweet. Heehee.”
(all the boys just look back at their calculators)

—Second Cup

Asian girl: I hate being Asian!
- Modern East Asian History

[Talking about brain lesions.]
Guest Lecturer: “In lesion studies, if you’re looking for small effects, you’re looking in the wrong place. Usually the effects kind of hit you over the head.”
–PSYC 211 

Prof: That’s what you would see if you stood in the shoes of a bee…..that wore shoes.
(later)
Prof: “Animals are completely unable to plan for their retirement. ….which is probably why they don’t retire.”
(later)
Prof: “Neurons are like toasters.”
–PSYC 211

Prof: Don’t ask sentences to perform multiple tasks. Multi-tasking is for women only.
–EAPR 250

Slightly Drunk Guy 1: Dude that Physics exam sucked balls (Drunkest Guy 2 starts to laugh hysterically)
Slightly Drunk Guy 1: Dude, shut up.
Drunkest Guy 2: You said balls…get it? ‘Cause the class was in Le Cock.
Slightly Drunk Guy 3: I hate that damn room, I got like 4 classes there next year. What a sausage fest.
Drunk Guy 1: Leacock?
Drunkest Guy 2: Le Cock!!!!
- St. Catherine

Jappy girl 1: Why did you leave your boots in the locker without a lock?
Jappy girl 2: Well, I’d just rather have $200 worth of stuff stolen than buy a $10 lock.
- McGill Gym Womens locker room

(Studying for the midterm in Terrestrial Planets, the quintessential bird course; Girl 1 has just claimed she’ll ace the exam)
Guy: So you have Mercury, Venus, Earth, and Mars as the terrestrial planets.
Girl 1 (who just claimed she’ll ace the exam): Wait, Mars isn’t a planet, it’s a moon!
Guy: (Frozen with shock) Umm.. No, you’re wrong.
Girl 2: (with certainty to girl 1) No, Mercury is the moon.
Guy: (walks away in disgust)
- Walking into midterm.

Girl 1: ..so then he started talking about feelings and stuff, and how we only have sex and we never talk anymore!
Girl 2: (nods head sympathetically)
Girl 1: Like sometimes after we do it he tries to cuddle with me and all I can think about is, damn I really just want to sleep
(silence)
Girl 1: So do I break up with him?
- Milton gates

Stoned guy: Don’t beat me up! I don’t want to be bruised tomorrow when my mom sees me naked!
- New Rez