Prof (mentioning the high taxes in france): …so they can then subsidise their education, and health, and army after army after army … (pauses) … of public servants.
- Econ 208

(2 primmed up girls crossing the street as a car bears down upon them)
Girl 1: Oh my god, getting hit by a car is totally my favorite activity.
Girl 2: Really? Mine is shopping.
- Crescent St/St Catherine

Professor: What are you eating in my class?
Student: Carrots. Want some?
Professor: No, thank you. I had bananas this morning.
- Leacock 132

[Group of people discussing which nationality is the best looking]
Girl: Brazilians are bomb.
Guy: Eastern European chicks are always sooo hot because they can’t afford food.
- Gardner 7

[Several girls whispering between each other, and then one girl questions louder]
Loud girl: Why would she have sex with a head injury?
- Burnside Basement

Trashed girl: Wait, is all male strippers gay? [sic]
Guy: Ummmmmmm
- RVC

(three girls sitting on bed in New Rez)
Girl 1 (to Girl 2) : You’re a fat whore.well…minus the fat part
Girl 2: Whatever. I’d rather be a whore than fat
Girl 3: I like your morals…

—New Rez room

Jewish girl: “This guy starting calling me a ‘JAP’, but I’m not even Asian!”
—Train from Montreal to Toronto

White guy number 1: Yea, so i got gonorrhea.
White guy number 2: What, you got gonorrhea?
White guy number 1: Yea, but it’s no big deal, everyone gets it.
White guy number 2: I’ve never gotten it.
White guy number 1: Actually neither have I, but all my friends have. They just took 3 pills and it was done.
White guy number 2: I can’t take pills, it’s against my religion.
White guy number 1: what religion is that?
White guy number 2: Rastafari!
- Biftek, St-Laurent

Professor: So… today is Valentine’s Day…
Guy 1: Woo!
Guy 2: BOOOO!!
Professor: Loser!
- Abnormal Psychology